After spending a day with Dikembe Mutombo, former Rockets, Nets, and Atlanta center, we couldn’t get much of what was said but we tried hard to summarize our time together the best we could.

We understand that to illustrate his career, he’s been working on a documentary in which he is narrating. We are already aware of his impressive record he has established while playing for the NBA. Needless to mention, he has a league record 4 defensive player of the year awards, 2nd all-time in total blocks, and an eight-time allstar. But we only found this out from our knowledge and the help of wikipedia.

As far as the documentary, he happily shared an excerpt from his tape with us but all we heard were groans and grunts. We tried to please the big man by pretending to take notes so we’d look interested and I think it worked. He had a big smile on his face and would make jokes and laugh so we laughed along with him, making him think he was a funny guy but in all reality, we were laughing at the accent.

Here’s a little clip we manage to scrounge from the documentary.

Dikembe Interview

Stan Van Gundy, the current coach of the Orlando magic has been known for his comical yet similar appearance to adult film icon Ron Jeremy. Many of his colleagues and friends had joked about it at first, since he started to grow out his mustache and gain weight.
Stan didn’t think it’d last long but boy was he wrong. He had gotten his 12th letter from the league this season on the subject of him being under investigation for allegations that he has been making adult films on the side. “This is getting old! I am not Ron Jeremy!..” yelled Van Gundy.. “infact, who heck is watching these videos?? is this what our league employees do for fun??”

We could tell he was quite upset but we still couldn’t hold back our laughter as we looked at his face and thought of Ron’s. “It is funny, but it does disrupt our team somewhat, knowing this issue is lurking in the media.” Magic center, Dwight Howard added.

“I always hate to have to go down to the league offices in New York personally and turn in my letter of appeal over such a dumb allegation and it’s gotten annoying!.. It’s either some sort of sick joke or these punks don’t have anything better to do but accuse me!! Every time I go there, i’m always hearing the usual.. HEY HEY! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!?!?” I then interjected to calm him down and said “Oh wow.. i see you have fans in New York” but he vehemently denied and said “those aren’t fans!! i always hear the usual: “oh who’s stan? i thought you were ron jeremy!”

To commemorate the New Jersey Nets’ move to Brooklyn, NY, Jay-z felt the need to take the opportunity to work on a new single to honor their 2010 season. He was so hyped about it prior to the season that he already came out with the title. “Through out my busy schedule, I confess I haven’t been able to catch a lot of Nets games this season so I had to keep an eye on the box scores and stat lines on my blackberry.”

After couple of months into the season, HOVA decided to change title. “I got 100 problems, but a bitch still ain’t one!” said Jay-z when asked what the new title will be. ” Initially, we felt the title may be a little harsh but I’m real, ain’t nothing fake about my rapping, so I gotta be honest on how i feel about my Brooklyn Nets.” We wondered what the new problem was, because if you recall, Jay had a hit single in the past known as “99 problems”. We then put 2 and 2 together and realized he was talking about New Jersey.

We discussed for a bit and brought up the idea that maybe this could be a blessing in disguise, as John Wall, the rookie point guard out of Kentucky could bring in good revenue and fans to Brooklyn if the Nets keep on their pace and land the 1st overall draft pick. However, Jay didn’t seem impressed, but felt the need to hint us on another single he’s working on, called “Lebron & Clyde.”