Favre draws in record laughter response when discussing NFL future.

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After the loss in New Orleans, all eyes were on Favre as the postgame press conference began. Everyone glued to the TV set anticipated his comments about retiring or giving the game another year. However, as soon as Favre started talking, noone in the crowd could hold it in any longer.

Wondering what the commotion was about, Favre still kept a straight face and commented that he would need some time to think about his choices ahead. However, words from the NFL legend could hardly be heard as the crowd of news reporters and editors broke out in hysterical laughter again. It was like we all got attacked by laughing gas. The camera man even pee’d his pants and couldn’t hold on the camera straight. Even the microphones themselves bursted out laughing infront of Brett’s face. That was quite eerie, but ESPN reporter, Suzy Kolber was rolling on the floor laughing at the jock.. Yes she was ROFLJOCK’ing.. We thought it was cute. Joe Namath however, felt that was his chance to finally get that kiss from her, and then some.

Of course, none of this was caught live because it had been edited out. Many of the audience did apologize to the NFL and to Brett Favre, but it still felt like the damage had been done. “I’m sorry.. we thought he was kidding.. i mean.. we were going along with it but the way he kept that straight face thru out made it even the more funnier!” said a fellow reporter. “We just bought a house here in Minnesota, because we know we’re gonna be here all summer while Favre blasts more jokes! I love it..” said another reporter who still remained skeptical after the whole event.

We wholeheartedly understand Favre being upset, as it was chaos over there in the booth where this was being held.
Whatever decision he takes, hopefully it will be the right one.

Chris Kaman invites Pau Gasol to meet him at bikeracks after school

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LOS ANGELES- News has been looming lately over Kaman’s sudden hostility against the Lakers. It was reported last week that Kaman made comments to the media about how Gasol and Bynum shouldn’t be selected infront of him for an All Star reserve spot.

Not much has been heared from Laker nation except the typical fan response, but Kaman decided to push the envelope even further. Yesterday, Kaman rolled up a note during class and put it in Gasol’s locker when noone was looking. We caught up with Kaman and inquired as to what exactly the note had written on it.

“I want that sissy-big bird-on-meth-lookin’ mofo to come meet me after school! I put that on there! 3 P.M. Bike racks.. he better bring his boyfriend Bynum too, cuz I’ll school them both!” Kaman responded. We felt this approach was somewhat childish, but we didn’t want to roll the dice because he did seem pretty heated during our exchange. It shows passion in a player, when he wants to become an allstar. We saw that passion in Bosh a couple of years ago, now we’re seeing Kaman’s version of lobbying for an all star spot.

Hopefully, Kaman gets the spot. I agree with Kaman on this one but at the same time I don’t feel he should go as far as an after school fight. These players dont’ even go to school, we just found it awkward that he decided to enlist himself at a local middle school just so that he could write this note. Either way, this should be an interesting Allstar weekend, considering they’d be playing on the same team if they were both to make it.

Cowboys sign Phillips to extension to ensure another disappointing season

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The Dallas Cowboys have signed head coach Wade Phillips to a contract extension through 2011, ensuring the Cowboys next two season’s will surely end in disappointing fashion.

“I’m excited to announce that Wade Phillips will be here another two seasons” announced Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. “His record speaks for itself!”

Phillips has won only one playoff game in his head coaching career, that coming this past season, only to get destroyed the next game. Despite a career head coaching record of 81-54 he has only won two division titles.

“I promise another exciting season in 2010 for the Dallas Cowboys organization. Surely the fans can expect us to make it to the playoffs again” exclaimed Wade Phillips. “Expect the defense to be strong, to go along with a stout running game.”

Dallas has an excellent trio of Marion Barber, Tashard Choice, and Felix Jones in the backfield, however for most of the season, Dallas insisted on letting Tony Romo keep opponents in the game.

The coach never made a mention of a championship, or any playoff wins.

Robinho left in the cold again; contracts frostbite

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MANCHESTER- City

Nate Robinson Named Spokesperson for Midget League Dunk Contest

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NEW YORK- Knick’s guard, Nate Robinson, was seen at a local charity game near Queens however he wasn’t playing. No, Coach D’antoni wasn’t coaching his team or anything, but rather Nate appeared as a guest of the game in order to promote his new appointed position as the Midget League Dunk Contest spokesman.

Nate’s no stranger to dunking, infact unless you’ve laid comatose for the past 5 years, you’d be aware he’s appeared more times than anyone else since 1990. The Midget League Dunk Contest will be a new addition this upcoming February, and the commissioner saw it fitting to invite Robinson as the spokesman because of his height compared to his NBA counterparts. It has been frowned upon in the past due to the reluctance of the league’s players. One of the players was quoted during an interview saying “Robinson gave us hope. We’ve watched videos of his past dunk contests and it taught us to never give up. My favorite was the first one he entered and won! It took him 46 tries but he finally got it and beat out Andre Iguodala. That’s right when I knew that I can do it too!”

“I love dunking. I mean.. this is what the game is about. This is why I play the game” Nate also added, when speaking to a group of reporters. Nate showed alot of cheer and was playful and full of energy as he scrimmaged against a few midget basketball players after the game. It was probably because of his newfound time warming the benches of the New York Knicks while playing under D’antoni.

It was such a great sight to see. It felt like I was at home watching my kids in my backyard playing on the fisher price hoop we bought last month. The only difference was, these kids looked extra determined. They held a mini dunk contest for us as we applauded them. It took about 3 and a half hours to complete because of missed attempts but we stuck with them till the end finally crowned the dunk champion the following morning.

Mark your calendars on February 19th, as the Queens City Midget League Dunk Contest presented by Nate Robinson takes place.

Minnesota T’Wolves plan to draft Britney Griner

Current Baylor forward, Britney Griner has turned lots of heads with her spectular play during her freshman year. “We’ve never had a player like this in Baylor’s history. “We’ve made a lot of progress in women’s college basketball recently and having a player like Griner gives us great potential in our near future.” said the excited women’s coach.

Not only the Coach has been impressed, the fans of Baylor as well as the fans of women’s basketball in general have been wowed by her prowess and gifts to the sport. However, one interesting person what was impressed was T’wolves GM, David Kahn.

“I went to one of her games when I was in town doing some scouting of my own. Boy oh boy, i’ve never seen any player as impressed as Griner.” Said Kahn. We did remind Kahn that even though Britney is impressive, why would he be interested in scouting at a women’s college basketball game. Kahn did remind us that there is no rule preventing women from joining the NBA but also he said he wanted to make clean with his harshest critics by not drafting a point guard this upcoming season.

We seriously questioned Kahn to the best of our ablility, especially for the sake of the Timberwolves organization. We mentioned there were great non-PG male prospects in Texas he could consider, like Donnie Avery of Texas and Aubrey Coleman of Houston, but we dont’ think he heard us. He just appeared hypnotized and marvelled by Griner’s dominance in the post. “I’m definitely drafting her” said Kahn. “We need that X factor, she reminds me alot of Tayshaun Prince!”

Federer still in isolation from gillette curse

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MYSTERY ISLAND- Swiss tennis pro and razor blade enthusiast Roger Federer has gone into isolation leaving his residence in the Swiss city of Wollerau.

Federer is among an elite trio of athletes (Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry) who have been under contract with Gillette for the past number of years helping the company achieve greater profits and explore different markets. But by the end of 2009 both Henry & Woods and been involved in globally publicized scandals which considerably ruined their marketing representation. In fear of loss of advertisement options and increased revenue

Federer has gone into a state of paranoia. According to his maid Isabella Ramos he left his home two months ago for training practice and has not returned since or being in contact with his agent or family members.

Report: Carroll took Seattle job to be closer to Sarkisian

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It was a rough year for Southern California football without former offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian. Sarkisian left USC after the 2008 season to join the Washington Huskies as head coach. USC struggled last season without him, and Pete Carroll missed him so much, he took the head coaching job with the Seattle Seahawks so he did not have to go through another season without him by his side.

“I can’t stand being away from him, its though to concentrate on winning football without him by my side” said Carroll. “I just couldn’t go another season away from him, so I decided to take the Seattle job so I can be close to him. I’m really fired up! I know Steve is probably excited about it too!”

Carroll’s hope is that by having Sarkisian so close in Seattle, that he’ll be able to bring him in to teach the Seahawks how to score a touchdown, something they appeared to forget how to do last season.

“I’m not sure what he’s talking about” questioned Sarkisian. The Huskies coach did not seem happy about Carroll following him up to Seattle, “I know we had a pretty good thing going at USC, but I’m ready to move on and do my own thing.”

Sarkisian led the Huskies to a 5-7 record in 2009, but did manage an upset win over Carroll’s Trojans.

No Nonsense midfielder refuses to celebrate victory

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MARYLAND- After winning a local under 8 soccer game Maryland native’s Baltimore Tigers team were joyous with the exception of defensive minded midfielder Aaron Daly. The 8 year old African American child had a great game cleaning up defensive errors and passing the ball at an efficient rate, yet after the teams 1-0 win, he refused to celebrate with the rest of his team mates who where performing the Soulja Boy dance.

This is not the first time Daly has refused to celebrate, after winning 12 games last year the 8 year old took part in no after game rituals and his head coach Douglas Lee cannot recall him ever celebrating a victory.

Beckham agrees to new advertisment tattoo deal with vodafone

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MILAN- Professional advert magnet and occasional football player David Beckham has seen a gradual decrease in marketing opportunities as more and more of his sponsors go to younger Cristano Ronaldo. Ronaldo is the new face of Armani