VANCOUVER- Alexander Setisov, an Olympic figure skater from Belarus, announced he was not gay on Sunday. Despite his frilly competition outfit, perfect hair, and outstanding hygiene, the Olympian maintains that he is not homosexual, and does it purely for the love of the sport.
“The grace and athleticism involved in the sport of men’s figure skating is what drew me to the sport.” said Stetisov. “I am not gay, I just like to dance and dress up while on ice.”
There is an assumption among many people who watch the sport that most men’s skaters are undoubtedly gay. Whether is the bouquets flowers they collect after a performance, crown of roses some may put on their head while waiting for judges’ scores, or the tissues they use to wipe their eyes after a performance, it becomes difficult not to question the sexual orientation of these athletes. As hard as it is to imagine, Setisov also announced that here are other heterosexual competitors in the sport as well.
“I’m not the only hetero either,” added the skater. “There are a few others too, and we pretty much get our pick of the litter when it comes to the female skaters.”
He mentioned most female skaters will attest to the fact that he is the Tiger Woods of figure skating. Setisov wondered why so many people assume that all male skaters are homosexual.
“This sport takes unbelievable commitment and physical conditioning. I don’t understand the homosexual connotation.”
Despite these announcements, most of the reporters and journalists just rolled their eyes and were still skeptical. Setisov is not expected to medal in Vancouver.
.. best of luck in the offseason..
