Sharks already living up to expectation of blowing it in the playoffs

DENVER – Colorado Avalanche center Ryan O’Reilly was credited with the game winning overtime goal 51 seconds into overtime to take a 2-1 lead series lead over the visiting San Jose Sharks. O’Reilly was the last Avalanche player to touch the puck before Sharks defenseman Dan Boyle appeared to shoot it into his own net. San Jose, who could not get a goal after 51 shots against Colorado goalie Craig Anderson, decided to put one past their own goalie, Evgeni Nabokov, to end the game. Just three games in, San Jose is looking again like the team that so often gets eliminated early in the playoffs.

Boyle was bitterly disappointed in himself after the game.

“I’m just anxious to collect my bet,” said the Canadian-born defenseman. “San Jose, even before I got here, is a guarantee to get knocked out early every season. Its easy money to bet against us.”

San Jose has finished either first or second each of the past five seasons, but failed each time to make it past the conference semifinals.

“San Jose is a great hockey down with a great tradition,” team captain Joe Thornton explained, “We don’t want our fans to realize that the regular season isn’t that important, and have them expect us to win in the playoffs.”

San Jose will look to get one game closer to the off-season when they take on Colorado again on Tuesday night.

arrghh im gonna choke sumbawdy!

Incase you’ve noticed.. the amount of stories we’re churning out every week seems to have been sliced in half..

we’re aware.. and we apologize.. we’ll get the rofljock machine back up and running soon..

also the blogs have been dead.. that.. even tho im part of the guilty party.. is almost inexcusable..

but on the real tho.. it’s been a coincidence that the authors have been busy with other stuff.. pBeezy with school.. djm with work and me with family issues that never seem to stop.. but i digress..

just blogged here to reassure our small but faithful audience that we realize all of this and none of us are thinking of jumping ship or anything like that..

we still have plans for this site that hadn’t been executed yet.. unlike in the beginning when we had a lot of energy and time.. but weren’t sure what we wanted.. now we know what we want but we’re lacking energy and time.. funny how that works out huh..

well anyway.. just wanted to give you guys a heads up.. we expect things to start chugging back up within a month.. things should be looking up by then..

trust me.. you’ll like what we have in store for ya ;)

happy jockin’… tell your friends.. visit our forums..

-Seb

Jerry Jones upset that Wade Phillips wasn’t inside during Texas Stadium implosion

jonesphillipsegIRVING, Tx – Fans lined the fences a safe distance away from Texas Stadium last Sunday as they gathered to say good-bye to the stadium that housed the Dallas Cowboys for 38 years. Seeing the stadium that so many went to watch their beloved Cowboys play at for almost four decades reduced to dust even brought out tears from some fans. More emotional than anybody was Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who was disappointed to learn that head coach Wade Phillips was not inside the stadium as it was brought down.

“I’ve been regretting that decision to give him extension since he signed it,” said Jones, who awarded Phillips with a contract extension through the 2011 season. “I told him to meet me at Texas Stadium today to pick up some final things, and i figured that fat dope would fall for it.”

After leading the Cowboys to disappointing seasons since 2007, critics questioned the decision to re-sign the head coach who has only one playoff win in his coaching career.

“I don’t know what I’ll try next,” questioned Jones. “Maybe I’ll just send him dozens of Krispy-Kremes until he has a heart attack. Heck, Maybe I’ll even blow up our new stadium if we don’t win a Super Bowl this year! That should send a message!”

Jerry Jones is hoping that the threat of blowing up his new stadium that cost over $1 billion to build, will get Wade Phillips to find a way to win a Super Bowl.

Jones, who was visually upset, then got in his Escalade, slammed the door and sped off.

Roger Goodell to meet with Big Ben at local club

rgoodleMILLEDGEVILLE – After Ben Roethlisberger’s legal battles have come to an end, Roger Goodell felt it was the right time to address the Steelers QB this week. There had been rumors about the way Goodell approached the Roethlisberger situation as opposed to how he approached wide receiver Santonio Holmes and other black players in the past.

Goodell issued a statement earlier saying, he will treat every player’s punishment the same, without discrimination of any sort. The irony however lays when after the statement, he set off to Milledgeville and planned to meet Ben at a nightclub.

Critics were surprised at the setting of the meet and felt it was unprofessional, however Goodell said he wanted Ben to be in his comfort zone. Things were a bit odd but more understood after Goodell explained. Although, when we thought things couldn’t get more odd, it became alot more cloudy after Goodell was seen purchasing a mini skirt and spaghetti strap at the mall. Experts are linking the outfit to be for himself so he can wear that to go meet Big Ben.

Big Ben wasn’t available for questioning on the meet but it sure would be a familiar setting and scenario for a familiar story we all know about when it involves Big Ben. We just hope Goodell isn’t trying to prove a point about Big Ben not being a rapist.

Howard to sit out second half of tonights game to update his facebook status

chris-bosh-dwight-howard-425
ORLANDO- The Orlando Magic sit in second place tonight where they face the first placed LeBron James Cavilers, in a contest that could be seen as a potential eastern conference final for the second year running but with rumors that Cavs player/coach Lebron James not playing tonight, Dwight Howard has asked to also be sited out. Reluctantly Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has compromised telling his franchise player that he only has to play the first half. ” We know we’re going finish second just like the cavs know they’re going to finish first, so i don’t really see why any fans would be upset, other than paying a lot of money to see me but other than that is there any other reason” Howard said as he questioned the plethora of reporters at his presence. When questioned as to what the nature of his leisure time was, Howard replied “Emm i got some things to do update my facebook status, send a couple of emails plus Matt Barnes hit me up on twitter so i’m really dying to see what he said”.

Dwight leads the league in facebook updates as well as twitter replies, although taking time of during a potentially eying up game could be seen as stat padding from the big man’s part. Regardless Howard notched up his 25,0000 twit (editors note: Is that what it’s called) with the assist going to Jared Dudley who asked him what his favorite type of cheese was.

Gilbert Arenas wishes to extend prison sentence to escape from the wizards

gilbert-arenas-425ROCKVILLE, MD – After Arenas, had been admitted into the halfway house where he would be serving the remainder of his sentence, it was reported Arenas was nothing but smiles. He is rumored to be enjoying his time away from the Wizards. Apparently, Arenas was quoted saying he is glad to not be a part of the current Washington Wizards roster, when asked if he’s missing playing time.

“I’ve been working on my game during my time here and I hope to return but that team should take their time putting a roster together!” said Arenas on Sunday. Most of the reporters took it as a snub towards the team at first but after none of us could successfully name the Wizards’ starting 5, we all could see where he was coming from.

Arenas also said, he had always felt sympathy for the team but he had the last straw when they lost to the knicks in double digits. “I can’t be part of a team that can’t beat Knicks.” Arenas was so upset at the loss that he begged to be imprisoned for another season entirely. His motive was that by then, they would’ve gotten a couple of lottery picks and a trade to get better.

We’ll see how things pan out when Arenas is free again.

Lyon defeat Bordeaux after invading stadium


LYON- Lyon progressed into the semi finals of the Champions League last Tuesday, while a series of uncommon circumstances occurred six days prior to the match itself. The date Friday the 2nd of April and Lyon chairman Jean Michel Aulas has held a press conference in anticipation for Lyon

Survey: More Man Utd fans inexplicably becoming Norwich City fans

Manchester-Uniteds-Newton-001MANCHESTER- After beginning knocked out of the Champions League to Bayern Munich and pretty much handing the premier league to Chelsea, it seems more and more Manchester United fans are becoming Norwich City fans. A survey conducted by ROFLJOCK over the past month shows a steady increase in Yellow & Green scarfs begin worn by United fans at games at both Old Trafford and at away games such as yesterdays nil all draw with Blackburn. Since Norwich City are the only team that sport these two exact colours, the only hypothesis is that United fans have jumped on the bandwagon of the league one side, the question put forward is why?

Messi officially “officially” the greatest player on the planet

As i sit and watch Bayern Munich throw away a match to an inferior squad (editors note: You let Darren Gibson score on you???? are you serious) i can not help but anticipate a rematch between the Spanish team i’ve supported since i was 7 and the team i despise more than any other sporting franchise (& that includes the Lakers), Barcelona & Manchester United. At the moment thats just a pipe dream Inter Milan will be no push over and United don’t even have this game in the bag let alone the Semi’s, plus this post is not concerned with the future but the present or technically the past since alot of the focus will be on Messi’s performance in last nights four nil one man show against Arsenal.

Lionel (which i learnt last night means ‘Young Lion’, a pretty relevant name) Messi is only 22 years old and already holds the record for most goals in the Champions League for Barcelona beating Rivaldo last night with his 25th goal in his short professional career and could possibly try going for an amazing 50 goals this season (he’s got 37 for Barca & 4 for Argentina) Some renegade members of the media however would have picked Ronaldo or Rooney as being better than him but after last nights showing those who deferred Messi have gone into hiding, possibly waiting for him to produce a bad performance (if the kid can have one) before crying outrage once again, in fact the question should not be if Messi is the greatest right now but if he’s the greatest of all time, right now the answer should be no but at only 22 years of age Messi figuratively and quiet literally has the world at his unbelievably skillfull feet, the potential is there if it comes to pass not is another matter all together.

Butler’s Hayward ineligible player due to young age; school to vacate wins

haywardINDIANAPOLIS- Butler forward, Gordon Hayward, is in the news again but this time, there is controversy surrounding him. After a solid performance against Michigan State, a report was issued to the NCAA board claiming Gordon was an underaged player.

In summary, we were told the report had proof that Hayward hadn’t graduated middle school. His last true school records date no further than grade 6. “This is a bit of a surprise to us, but in the back of our minds, we always thought he did look kind of young” said an official on Sunday. If everything is accurate on the report, Hayward would actually be a 12 year old, not a 20 year old.

Hayward is yet to take the floor later today for the final game of the NCAA against Duke. The NCAA board had said they would still let him play because it’s too late to instill a punishment at this critical time in the tournament. Also it was said they wanted to see those “Duke douchebags lose”. Punishments may be in order, after the season. Fans and media alike are predicting it may be a ‘vacate all your wins’ penalty.

USC was also rumored to be interested in Hayward initially. Although it wasn’t proven, some fans have been spreading rumors that gifts such as lollipops and toy racecars were sent to Hayward from USC in order to entice him signing with them.