Jones latest move to piecing the puzzle that is the Cowboys came in a news conference today. Jones announced that due to his numerous attempts at beefing up the roster only to come up short, he decided that he will get more involved in football operations by playing Quarterback. “I’ve played some good football in my time, and I understand the rules quite well, so I shouldn’t have any trouble getting acclimated to things.” Jones said.

Undoubtedly, many fans and team staff alike were shocked at the announcement. The PR spokesman for the Cowboys even said that Jones never consulted with him first before making this announcement. Initially thought of as a joke, Jones showed he meant business after releasing Stephen McGee immediately and donning his Cowboys Jersey that read “Jones” in the back. He also went the extra mile and proceeded to put on tights infront of the team. “It was kind of gross to be honest seeing his old grandpapa legs struggle to fit into the smallest football gear available” said Wide Receiver, Miles Austin.

Jason Garrett, the coach, stood by Jones’ decision wholeheartedly saying that if Jones thinks this move is right for the team then I’m 100% with it. Players like Demarcus Ware voiced displeasure when interviewed. “How can this team get any worse? Seriously. There’s no topping this. It’s like I came to the NFL to waste my talents. I’m beginning to think people don’t know who I am anymore.”

Tony Romo was also informed about this decision and commented that he hopes he does not lose his starting position at least because he has no where else to go. “I don’t even know why I’m still a starter on this team to be honest. Call me humble but I think Jones may have a better shot at finishing games than I do, but we’ll see.”

Jones plans to join the team in practice on Monday and play his first game in the playoffs.

It’s no secret that the Madden franchise sales have reportedly been experiencing a steady decrease for the past few years, despite being the only video game on the market based on the NFL for the past 8 years. Johnston mentioned that the decrease in sales is only bulletin board material for adding more features to it in hopes their consumers would realize they’re actually doing something more than just roster updates. “This new and never before experienced CBA mode will not only give you an extra feature to occupy your time, but it will also educate our users on how the NFL works from a business point of view. It isn’t just about completing hail mary passes on 1-step drops anymore, we feel we can continue to break the barrier in NFL gaming today, even if it means educating our consumers for once.”

Despite the news, EA was still reluctant to provide any more details on what this CBA mode will include. There have been rumors that you will experience situations within the mode in which your judgement will be needed. Make the wrong judgement and you risk having an entire season under a lockout. There is even the possibility that you may experience multiple seasons of lockouts in a row, until you come to a compromise with the player and / or the owners. Basically, the longer the lockout exists, the more difficult it will be to come to a resolution. There is even footage of players like Chad Ochocinco in the game, lacing up his nike cleats and going out to play soccer in Spain instead.

Here’s to hoping another great game by EA Sports hits the shelves this summer.

While that view point was noted, many Favre supporters argued that his legacy in the league has already been tarnished a great deal just from the story leaking out. “It had to be tough enough going out there and playing the game with this kind of monkey on your back” said a close friend of Favre’s. After the public backlash on the penalty, NFL commissioner Goodell voluntarily addressed the statements by saying Favre could’ve pulled uglier chics but he pulled such a dime piece. Goodell commented, “I mean, let’s be serious here, some of you 25 year old punks can’t pull that kind of ass on your best day, Favre pulled that at 41. Don’t even get me started on the type of ass you’d be pulling at 41. That’s just a testament to how great Favre is”. Goodell also added, “Favre is so money too that you don’t even hear anything about him kissing up and buying a 4 million dollar ring. I mean, much love for Kobe and all but the rocky horror picture show reject he was accused of harassing back in Denver isn’t on Sterger’s level. I’m sorry”

While his response shocked the critics, even many more applauded and realized their mistakes. Chris Bayer. a local Vikings fan commented, “[Goodell's] right. It’s Sterger’s fault for looking so damn fine. I also remember when she had her nude pictures up on playboy and how it distracted me from my daily article reads.” Favre may not have ended his career exactly the way he had hoped for, but he will still be a piece of motivation for aspiring athletes and other 40 year old men. Sterger’s attorneys also commented that to show how small the fine is for a multimillion dollar athlete like Favre, if he actually accrued 50k a year instead, he’d end up paying about $1.20 for the fine. Clearly upset was the attorney, according to multiple sources who were there during his public statement, until he was handed a May 2006 issue of Playboy magazine.

The attorney had to cut his speech short after taking a few glimpses. We’ll cover more on this story if any developments.

And oh yeah due to an agreement with our hosting provider, we are not allowed to show pornographic images on our site..

BUT THEY DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT LINKS!!!! pics (NSFW):

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http://www.virtualcasino.com/images/83679_Steger1.jpg

Moss further went on to explain that he didn’t think he’d like it as much as he as so far and that he came here with the sole purpose of ‘creating more drama’. “Quite frankly, I was trying to break a world record of changing teams within a season” said Moss as he was asked why he seemed changed during the press conference. Moss further admitted that he had no intention of playing football this season and figured his chances are pretty slim of touching the rest of Jerry Rice’s records so he sought out to make new records of his own, switching teams being one of them. “I was also going to have a crack at ‘most destroyed running back seasons’ world record but I have a feeling Chris Johnson’s will be hard to put a dent in.” Moss had already impeded Peterson’s in Minnesota by sharing the first option spotlight in Childress’ playbook.

When asked if Moss still sought to destroy the team, he declined to comment on that but gave us a vague response saying that “anything’s possible”. The Titans face Washington on Sunday the 21st. Lets see if Moss has formulated a new plan for success by then.

Haskins has been dog sitting ever since he was 10 years old. People say he has this special bond with all canines that would make Cesar Milan jealous. When Haskins turned this hobby into his career, it had become the turning point of his life financially. Now making up to $600 k a year, Haskins has more time to focus on enjoying the sport of football. However, things took a horrible twist when Vick was added to the team and eventually was named starter. “I missed the first Eagles game of my life when Vick took over for Kevin Kolb” commented Haskins. “After what Vick did, I can never forgive him. I will never root for him and I hope he gets injured.” Haskins also added.

Needless to say, Haskins was very excited when Vick went down with the rib injury but after the loss to Tennessee, he wasn’t so high on Kolb. “I wanted McNabb back” said Haskins. After Vick’s performance against McNabb of all people last week, Haskins admits he has never been more confused in his life as to whether to root for his team or boo for Vick. Fans sitting by him in the stadium said they thought he was an unadmitted schizophrenic patient. He would cheer for the Eagles defense but boo whenever the ball was passed on offense. After the 40th point, Haskins ran out of breath from his constant boos and passed out on the stadium field.

After being revived at the end of the game, he was told the final score was 59 – 28, and the Eagles won. Haskins still expressed displeasure despite his team winning. Haskins today is now being closely monitored as so he doesn’t kill himself from the confusion that occurs. Some fellow fans have encouraged him to forget the past and root for his franchise as this may be his best chance to see them win a championship but Haskins’ response is the usual cold blank stare.

Eagles play against the Giants this Sunday evening.

Reid had declared Vick his starter on Tuesday morning, and while this comes as a surprise to many, including Vick, Reid said he felt he deserved another shot at leading his team. As soon as the cameras went off, team doctors rushed on site and yanked Andy away from the reporters in order diagnose Reid. It was a somewhat scary situation as media members and staff members of the team looked at Reid and the doctors with a sense of worry and fear on their faces, hoping he was alright.

After a few minutes of holding up fingers for Reid to count and flashing a small flashlight in his eyes to check for dilation, Reid was carried away from the press room in a stretcher. The crowd of people clapped as he stuck his hands up letting everyone know he will be OK. We will let you know if any more news on this develops.

“I know i throw too many interceptions as it is already. I don’t have to read the newspapers to figure it out. I know i can’t turn this thing around over night but I will set goals each year and hopefully 5 years from now I can bring it down to 10.” Manning has suffered criticism since day 1 and has been in his brother, Peyton Manning’s, shadow for quite some time. After winning the superbowl a few years back, Manning’s career has seen an upwards turn of events but his interceptions have still haunted him.

Coach Coughlin has worked dearly with Manning to decrease his interception totals by employing strategies of having his wide receivers play defense while Manning is throwing. Some staff have even branched out to Peyton Manning to help coach his brother. “Only time will tell if our practices have worked toward this goal” said the Giants’ quarterbacks coach. Giants play their first game at 1pm EST on Sunday Sep. 12th.

The decision not only baffled Young however, but others interested in the story’s developments like Titans’ head coach Jeff Fisher. “Quite frankly, I had already started searching for a new quarterback”, said Fisher this morning. “I figured Goodell was going to do the whole fake ‘meet with young over lunch’ gig and then take him to his basement and torture him and end it with an 8-game suspension.” Many others’ thoughts about the situation and their prediction of Goodell’s reaction weren’t far from Fisher’s. The decision actually got them worrying if this was some sort of prank by Goodell or if he was mentally all right. “This is the most lax he’s ever been about punishing a player, he must’ve gotten hit in the head or something, or may be he got laid last night” said a local Titans fan. Multiple GM’s have also considered having Goodel do a CAT Scan just to make sure their commissioner is still in good health.

Goodell couldn’t be reached for comment on this matter as he was busy reading a children’s story book to a local kindergarten class.

VIRGINIA BEACH – According to an ESPN report, there was a shooting incident outside a nightclub in Virginia Beach on Thursday the 24th. The victim, Quanis Phillips, is known as a friend of Vick’s but has been ordered to not have any association with the Eagles QB since he was released from prison on the dog fighting charges.

According to police, the victim of the violent scuffle was very uncooperative but he did receive medical attention. No one that remained in the club after the shooting claimed to be eyewitnesses but they did mention seeing a dog jet out of the general area where the shooting occured. No one thought much of it to identify the dog, but the police said they have a policy of treating everyone as a suspect.

Police reports were filed and almost every description fit a certain breed of dog which in turn fits a popular dog named Cujo. Cujo’s name came into the picture after authorities learned that he was one of the B list celebrities invited to Vick’s birthday party at the club. The bouncer noticed Cujo and he appeared to be in a calm and playful manner. “He even made jokes about dog-fighting and he didn’t appear to be armed or anything.” Cujo’s friends said he left with them before the shooting occurred and by no means should he be a suspect in this. They also said they will sue if Cujo is even questioned by authorities because they feel this is driven by him being a dog and nothing more.

We tried to reach Cujo for his take on the issue but he just barked at us.

Bulger during one of his signature moves

ST. LOUIS – After Isaac Bruce’s retirement on Wednesday, June 9th, Marc Bulger expressed gratitude for playing with Bruce. “He’s one of the best players I’ve ever played with in my NFL career, and I believe he’s accomplished enough to be a Hall of Famer” said Bulger during the ceremony.

Marc also expressed that he too would like to join the St. Louis Rams like Bruce did so he can retire as a Ram. Bulger added “I know i played for other teams but it’s here in St. Louis where I established my legacy as an NFL player.” Marc Bulger as a Rams QB amassed a career passer rating of 84.4, and 1,960 completions with 3,171 attempts. He also had a notable 22 interceptions during his 3rd season with the Rams.

Bulger would be most memorable for the interceptions, as several defensive backs mentioned that if it wasn’t for Bulger, they wouldn’t be getting as many accolades as they had been getting. One DB even said, he was grateful for playing the Rams two times a season because his interception totals skyrocketed so much after playing against Bulger that he became a perennial pro-bowler. Some defensive linemen say they thank Bulger for being so indecisive as well, and getting their sack totals up. “Our practice squad QB doesn’t even give us freedom to own him” said an anonymous defensive back.

Bulger was humbled by the outstanding number of compliments he recieved from defenses and fantasy football players as well who had defenses and players that matched up against rams. He added, “I’m glad to be remembered for my impact on the game, I may have disappointed some fans and critics but I know i’ve made more fans of the game happy.”

We’ll keep you posted on whether the Rams will pick up Bulger.