this ronaldo

not this ronaldo

SAO PAULO- Brazilian striker and first claimer to the name Ronaldo has signed a final two year contract with corinthians in prepartion for the 2012 mayan prediction of an apacolpyes.. “After hearing all these stories about how the world is going to end in 2012 i wanted to end my footballing career a couple of months before the apocalypse to give me time to prepare for the afterlife”. Ronaldo will go down in history as being one of the greatest players of his generation and also having one of the worst and least trendest haircuts ever for a professional athlete.

Ronaldo’s career has not always been rosey though, Starting out as one of the hottest young prospect to come from a country that has produced as many great football players as it has hot women, Ronaldo went on to win plaudits and countless awards as he lived up to his potential but by the end of the 90′s and the beginning of the new millenium, Ronaldo quit from soccer to concentrate on his passionate hobby, pie-eating. “I got alot of stick about quitting football to become a professional pie eater but what the heart wants, the heart wants.” “plus i was able to come out of retirement and play again and now look everyone is doing it” We believe that Ronaldo was commenting on his fellow countryman Adrinho who also pulled of a similarly miraciolous feet.

Ronaldo did indeed come back to the world of football and his addiction to pies seemed to fade as the financial rembursments he recieved in Brazil where remarkably lower than in Europe and therefore unable to afford to feed his addiction.
The story of Ronaldo’s career is apparently being made into a feature film with Craig Charles set to star. Ronaldo’s career will be remembered for both good and bad reasons but at the end of the day ROFLJOCK salutes his storrid??? career.