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Lebron to make feature length movie about his free-agency decision

July 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

large_lebron_hammerCLEVELAND – Not too long after the announcement that Lebron James will be broadcasting his free agency decision, sources now say he plans to make a feature length movie about his tedious decision process. “Lebron is all about the big screen. This is why he skipped being on the USA team this summer.” commented a source. The movie is prospected to be roughly 3 1/2 hours long and film makers are predicting for this movie to be out by December.

Sources also confirm that James Cameron, the same director of Avatar, will be directing Lebron’s movie about the process. We are also informed that the movie is only strictly about the free agency and not about Lebron’s life. There hasn’t been any word on if there is an autobiography movie in the works for later, but we have a feeling it wouldn’t be a just a movie but a multi-season TV series that could rival with the Simpson’s current 20 year run.

Lebron fans as usual are excited for the news, even though they don’t know what jerseys they will be wearing to their viewing parties just yet, they’re just fairly stoked about a movie featuring their most favorite basketball superstar. “This isn’t even about basketball anymore! Lebron is big time! So what if he hasn’t won a championship yet!” said a loyal lebron fan nearby.

Should any more developments come about this, come here first to hear the news.

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Local Cleveland man quick to remind everybody that he is actually from Boston

May 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

NBA Finals Spurs Cavaliers BasketballCLEVELAND – Following the Cleveland Cavaliers disappointing exit from the 2010 NBA playoffs at the hands of the Boston Celtics, local man and huge Cavaliers and LeBron James fan Mike Mestrick, 28, was quick to point out to all his friends, family, and co-workers that he is actually from Boston. Not long after watching the the Cavaliers lose game 6 at a downtown Cleveland sports bar, Mestrick was witnessed taking off his #23 James throwback jersey and tossing it in a city garbage can. Mestrick, like most douche-bag Boston fans, wants everybody to know that he still supports his hometown team.

“I support the Cavs since I live here, but I gotta stay loyal to Boston, show everybody where I am from, especially if they are winning,” said Mestrick.

Even though he moved to Cleveland when he was four, and spent the majority in his life in the downtown area, Mestrick has no problem abandoning his local teams when a Boston team is doing well.

“You know if one of my hometown teams is winning I gotta get behind them. When the Patriots were in the Super Bowl I had to dust off my Tony Eason jersey that I got for Christmas as a kid, and not let any other Patriots fans know that I am Browns season ticket holder,” explained the transplanted Bostonian. “I just like to root for a winner, everybody knows that in Cleveland that doesn’t ever happen.”

Expect Mestrick to ditch his Indians gear and pull out his old Wade Boggs jersey this fall if Red Sox make a push towards the World Series.

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Shaq to donate $1000 to Make-a-Wish Foundation for every free-throw he makes

May 13, 2010 By Leave a Comment

D067930023.jpgCLEVELAND – After a gut-wrenching game 5 loss, the cavaliers now stand at a 3 – 2 disadvantage against Boston. In turn, the media has taken jabs at Cleveland for turning in a sub par effort on their homecourt. However, Shaquille O’neal, an experienced player in the playoffs has done his effort to dry up the dampened spirits in Cleveland.

Earlier on Wednesday, Shaq announced that he promises to donate to charity in hopes to put a smile on everyone’s faces. Local cleveland fans thought this was a sweet thing of him to do. Lately, Shaq has been making the news but in a negative light. So far this year, he has been known to put on wigs and sing in the mirror, squabble with young players about nicknames and in previous years he’s been known for publically asking LA Laker Kobe Bryant how his ass tastes.

This time around, Shaq was quoted at a public press conference saying “Cleveland should smile again, remember the little kids, they are our future and they shouldn’t be overlooked because of basketball. Basketball is just a game, but these kids are our future.” Mothers in the crowd became teary eyed, but for a different reason.

After Shaq claimed he will donate $1000 to the Make-a-Wish foundation for every free throw he makes, the crowd of fans gasped in disbelief. “We just got fooled man!” said a crowd spectator, “how does he expect this to impact the foundation?” Another member commented that Shaq should’ve just written a check because we know he has enough money to support the charity well without putting a dent in his wallet.

The fans are mainly worried because he is known for missing free throws at an incredibly low rate. Some fans still remain optimistic, hoping he really does have a kind heart and this will motivate him to work on his free throws. Shaq did decline comment after a member suggested he donates to charity for every free throw he misses.

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Joakim Noah forced to live in Cleveland as punishment for comments against City.

April 19, 2010 By Leave a Comment
JEFF HAYNES/AFP/Getty Images

JEFF HAYNES/AFP/Getty Images

CLEVELAND- On the Eve, of the 2nd game of the series between Chicago and Cleveland, Noah was issued his punishment for what he said about Cleveland.

For those who weren’t aware, Noah quipped about Cleveland and how he wasn’t enjoying his time there. He also jested at the notion that ‘Cleveland sucks’. This apparently got fans and media native to Cleveland riled up and the attention of this has even managed to reach league management including David Stern.

When asked about what kind of punishment is in hand, a spokesperson for the Bulls said they were looking at forcing Noah to live in Cleveland for a day. “A financial penalty won’t teach Noah that what he did was wrong! Neither will a league suspension! We’ve got to really drill this lesson to him and we believe, forcing him to live in Cleveland will make him a new man once he’s out.”

This whole idea of penalty was unforseen and alot of people felt it was too extreme. Even Cleveland fans felt sorry for Noah having to live in Cleveland. “I know I live in Cleveland too and all but, seriously? c’mon guys.. it’s just jokes” said a Bob Wright, a Cleveland native and basketball fan.

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Lebron James officially a hypocrite for playing basketball

April 5, 2010 By 1 Comment

lebron_crybaby_big1CLEVELAND- In light of recent events in the media, Lebron James was seen picking up a stray basketball at a local gym and shooting a couple of baskets while fellow hoopers glanced in awe. Coincidentally, several media members just happened to be there along with our cameras. Lebron looked at one of the cameras and smiled saying, “sometimes you can’t help but do what you love to do”, then signed basketballs for everyone at the gym. He then cancelled a later appointment to play a little friendly pickup game, with the local gym members.

Now, Lebron had never done such a selfish ploy ever in his history of the NBA. So far this past week, he’s been stuffing our faces with twists and turns of his career, only to end up low balling everyone associated with the sport in anyway. We fail to understand how he thinks he’s so great that he can pick up any ball in any local gym and shoot it. There wasn’t any indication that it was his turn to shoot the damn ball. Also, who’s to say he didn’t bring the cameras there to save face?

As you may recall, earlier last week, Lebron was known for saying he can win the scoring title if he wants, but he wants to win a championship. That statement just screams selfish all over. Quite frankly, what has he done in his career that makes him think he has a shot at winning the scoring title?

As one can see, Lebron’s gone way over his head. He’s such a selfish blabbermouth. How can he nickname himself the king? and also what’s with him not entering the dunk contest? He clearly believes he is above everyone else and decides what’s best for him rather than what’s best for the nba community. Alot of people are clearly upset that we dont’ get to see his selfish, indulgent excuse of a player participate in a dunk contest. He clearly thinks he’s Jordan because he wants to retire the #23, and he doesn’t want to be in a dunk contest.

Having a player like Lebron has brought nothing but shame to this sport. We share all NBA fans’ feelings at this whole notion, and deeply regret ever having such a player step onto the scene. Here’s to Lebron having a career ending injury. The NBA shall return to its glory days once again.

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