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EA Sports’ Madden 2012 to feature Collective Bargain Agreement mode

April 27, 2011 By 1 Comment

For the first few months of the NFL off-season to date, EA sports is reportedly marveled at the ongoing excitement that has brought a lot of fans and players alike to the sport. The conferences and meetings between the owners and player personnel is just part of what makes this sport what it is, said EA spokesperson Ryan Johnston. EA Sports would like to capture events like this on their upcoming title, Madden 12, predicted to hit stores this August. “We just like to keep up with our tradition of putting content you see on TV in the game, hence our slogan “It’s in the game”.

It’s no secret that the Madden franchise sales have reportedly been experiencing a steady decrease for the past few years, despite being the only video game on the market based on the NFL for the past 8 years. Johnston mentioned that the decrease in sales is only bulletin board material for adding more features to it in hopes their consumers would realize they’re actually doing something more than just roster updates. “This new and never before experienced CBA mode will not only give you an extra feature to occupy your time, but it will also educate our users on how the NFL works from a business point of view. It isn’t just about completing hail mary passes on 1-step drops anymore, we feel we can continue to break the barrier in NFL gaming today, even if it means educating our consumers for once.”

Despite the news, EA was still reluctant to provide any more details on what this CBA mode will include. There have been rumors that you will experience situations within the mode in which your judgement will be needed. Make the wrong judgement and you risk having an entire season under a lockout. There is even the possibility that you may experience multiple seasons of lockouts in a row, until you come to a compromise with the player and / or the owners. Basically, the longer the lockout exists, the more difficult it will be to come to a resolution. There is even footage of players like Chad Ochocinco in the game, lacing up his nike cleats and going out to play soccer in Spain instead.

Here’s to hoping another great game by EA Sports hits the shelves this summer.

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Randy Moss admits destroying chemistry in Tennessee is not as easy as he thought

November 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

NASHVILLE, Tenn – After a challenging practice Friday, Moss was surprisingly available at the press booth to speak to the media. After coach Fisher had finished talking to the reporters, Moss quickly trotted on to the stage with his signature scowl on his face. As the crowd expected an angry fated media tongue-lashing from Moss, he greeted us with a sense of humbleness in his voice as he did nothing but commend the Titan’s organization.

randy-mossMoss further went on to explain that he didn’t think he’d like it as much as he as so far and that he came here with the sole purpose of ‘creating more drama’. “Quite frankly, I was trying to break a world record of changing teams within a season” said Moss as he was asked why he seemed changed during the press conference. Moss further admitted that he had no intention of playing football this season and figured his chances are pretty slim of touching the rest of Jerry Rice’s records so he sought out to make new records of his own, switching teams being one of them. “I was also going to have a crack at ‘most destroyed running back seasons’ world record but I have a feeling Chris Johnson’s will be hard to put a dent in.” Moss had already impeded Peterson’s in Minnesota by sharing the first option spotlight in Childress’ playbook.

When asked if Moss still sought to destroy the team, he declined to comment on that but gave us a vague response saying that “anything’s possible”. The Titans face Washington on Sunday the 21st. Lets see if Moss has formulated a new plan for success by then.

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Dog owner/Eagles fan still unsure whether he should root for Michael Vick

November 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

PHILADELPHIA – David Haskins, a long time eagles fan has seen the ups and downs of his beloved franchise. Having been a season ticket holder for the past 10 years, he thanks his dog sitting business for allowing him to spend his fortunes on watching his favorite team take the field every Sunday. “I love what i do, I’ve been doing it all my life and I have no intention of retiring from my passion” said Haskins of his dog sitting business.

Haskins has been dog sitting ever since he was 10 years old. People say he has this special bond with all canines that would make Cesar Milan jealous. When Haskins turned this hobby into his career, it had become the turning point of his life financially. Now making up to $600 k a year, Haskins has more time to focus on enjoying the sport of football. However, things took a horrible twist when Vick was added to the team and eventually was named starter. “I missed the first Eagles game of my life when Vick took over for Kevin Kolb” commented Haskins. “After what Vick did, I can never forgive him. I will never root for him and I hope he gets injured.” Haskins also added.

Needless to say, Haskins was very excited when Vick went down with the rib injury but after the loss to Tennessee, he wasn’t so high on Kolb. “I wanted McNabb back” said Haskins. After Vick’s performance against McNabb of all people last week, Haskins admits he has never been more confused in his life as to whether to root for his team or boo for Vick. Fans sitting by him in the stadium said they thought he was an unadmitted schizophrenic patient. He would cheer for the Eagles defense but boo whenever the ball was passed on offense. After the 40th point, Haskins ran out of breath from his constant boos and passed out on the stadium field.

After being revived at the end of the game, he was told the final score was 59 – 28, and the Eagles won. Haskins still expressed displeasure despite his team winning. Haskins today is now being closely monitored as so he doesn’t kill himself from the confusion that occurs. Some fellow fans have encouraged him to forget the past and root for his franchise as this may be his best chance to see them win a championship but Haskins’ response is the usual cold blank stare.

Eagles play against the Giants this Sunday evening.

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Cujo a possible suspect in shooting incident at Michael Vick’s party

June 27, 2010 By 1 Comment

yes.. cujo.. i know..

VIRGINIA BEACH – According to an ESPN report, there was a shooting incident outside a nightclub in Virginia Beach on Thursday the 24th. The victim, Quanis Phillips, is known as a friend of Vick’s but has been ordered to not have any association with the Eagles QB since he was released from prison on the dog fighting charges.

According to police, the victim of the violent scuffle was very uncooperative but he did receive medical attention. No one that remained in the club after the shooting claimed to be eyewitnesses but they did mention seeing a dog jet out of the general area where the shooting occured. No one thought much of it to identify the dog, but the police said they have a policy of treating everyone as a suspect.

Police reports were filed and almost every description fit a certain breed of dog which in turn fits a popular dog named Cujo. Cujo’s name came into the picture after authorities learned that he was one of the B list celebrities invited to Vick’s birthday party at the club. The bouncer noticed Cujo and he appeared to be in a calm and playful manner. “He even made jokes about dog-fighting and he didn’t appear to be armed or anything.” Cujo’s friends said he left with them before the shooting occurred and by no means should he be a suspect in this. They also said they will sue if Cujo is even questioned by authorities because they feel this is driven by him being a dog and nothing more.

We tried to reach Cujo for his take on the issue but he just barked at us.

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Brazilian squad to star in Kim Jong Il’s latest film as payment for only beating PRK 2-1

June 16, 2010 By Leave a Comment

SOUTH AFRICA- The entire 30 man Brazilian squad will have starring roles in North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il’s latest cinema masterpiece. The starring roles were given to the Brazilian team, as payment for giving a humbling performance against North Korea in their 2-1 victory. Many soccer experts had projected a much higher score from the highest rank team in the tournament and many people watching the match may have felt that Brazil had been over rated by the media but a post game press conference by Brazilian coach, Dunga stated that Kim Jong Il offered the team new opportunities within the filming industry which they could not turn down. Current Brazilian star, Robhino believes that his career could mirror Pele’s who starred in the movie ‘Victory’ with this latest development.

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Honda Motor Company non-cost advertising project in World Cup a success

June 14, 2010 By Leave a Comment

keisuke-honda-25310SOUTH AFRICA – After a 94 minute match that ended with a 1 – 0 victory for Japan over Cameroon, many Japanese nationals breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was their first World Cup victory ever that did not take place in Japan, and they achieved it against one of the titan teams in world cup soccer today. A group who even celebrated harder after the match was the Honda Corporation.

Best known for their cars, Honda the company decided to cut back on finances for advertisements after they learned Japan would be in the World Cup tournament. “It was a risky move for all of us” said Honda-Japan spokesman, Kenji Kawashima. The general plan was to let advertising run its course because Keisuke Honda, a player on the team also shared his last name with the company.

“We knew Keisuke would be a good striker. He shows great speed and great agility when it comes to adversity, just like our cars.” said Kenji. When Keisuke Honda scored the goal, Honda knew their profits would nearly triple. “We just hope he keeps it up in the World Cup, as this would put us over the edge when it comes to advert competition.”

There was further proof this tactic worked when a fan was interviewed after the match. The fan was quoted saying he had no idea what was going on but he got the sudden urge to buy a Honda before he left South Africa.

More Japanese companies are reportedly considering naming players after their company names but there’s little word as to whether it’s been effective. Japan has an upcoming match against Netherlands on June 19th. Stay tuned.

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England to follow diet of 60′s cup winning team

June 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment

englishfoodSOUTH AFRICA- A brief trip to the kitchen of the English national team merely hours before their first game with USA was a starling contrast to the dietary supplements of all the other teams in the tournament this year. England coach Fabio Capello was interviewed by a number of worried British reporters as to why the team had switched from the current healthy diet to a variety of fatty foods. Capello responded with this following assessment ” A lot of pressure has been put on me to win the world cup this year, but the English must realize that they have only one this competition once in about twenty attempts!” Fabio continued ” A lot of study went into how that team won the cup back in the sixty’s and we have replicated the information available as much as humanly possible. First we started with the jersey’s they were like for like and now we are following with a diet plan”. In training the English camp looked quiet sluggish to their normal energetic selves but Capello laughed off all comments stating that ” Wayne Rooney has being using this diet regime since he began playing football so the others should be alright too”.

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Inspired by Isaac Bruce’s trade, Marc Bulger wants to retire as a ram too

June 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment
MarcBulger2

Bulger during one of his signature moves

ST. LOUIS – After Isaac Bruce’s retirement on Wednesday, June 9th, Marc Bulger expressed gratitude for playing with Bruce. “He’s one of the best players I’ve ever played with in my NFL career, and I believe he’s accomplished enough to be a Hall of Famer” said Bulger during the ceremony.

Marc also expressed that he too would like to join the St. Louis Rams like Bruce did so he can retire as a Ram. Bulger added “I know i played for other teams but it’s here in St. Louis where I established my legacy as an NFL player.” Marc Bulger as a Rams QB amassed a career passer rating of 84.4, and 1,960 completions with 3,171 attempts. He also had a notable 22 interceptions during his 3rd season with the Rams.

Bulger would be most memorable for the interceptions, as several defensive backs mentioned that if it wasn’t for Bulger, they wouldn’t be getting as many accolades as they had been getting. One DB even said, he was grateful for playing the Rams two times a season because his interception totals skyrocketed so much after playing against Bulger that he became a perennial pro-bowler. Some defensive linemen say they thank Bulger for being so indecisive as well, and getting their sack totals up. “Our practice squad QB doesn’t even give us freedom to own him” said an anonymous defensive back.

Bulger was humbled by the outstanding number of compliments he recieved from defenses and fantasy football players as well who had defenses and players that matched up against rams. He added, “I’m glad to be remembered for my impact on the game, I may have disappointed some fans and critics but I know i’ve made more fans of the game happy.”

We’ll keep you posted on whether the Rams will pick up Bulger.

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Fulham & Pompey bemused as to why there was no fairy tale ending

May 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Brede-Hangeland-Fulham-FCLONDON & PORTSMOUTH- This weekend two Cinderella stories closed without a happy ending in story for Cinderella as if prince charming found someone else with the same shoe size. It began on Thursday night when fair play award winners Fulham had some how managed to beat of some of the best secondary competition in Europe including Italian giants Juve to make it all the way to the Europa Finals only to be kicked out in extra time by Spaniards Atheltico Madrid.

The second part of our story ended yesterday in Wemebly where poverty stricken and last place relegated side Portsmouth battled Premier League champions Chelsea, in a first versus last F.A. cup final and just when you thought they might do it by being given a penalty kick they end up missing.

Both teams managers where in awe as if it was some sick prank, all the other teams in the competition’s had played on them had come into effect. Roy Hodgson was last seen physically shaken as he received his sliver medal and had to be restrained by security as he tried to strangle Michel Plantini.

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Adidas to create new world cup soccer ball out of cotton

May 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

soccer-ball1SOUTH AFRICA- Due to the recent uproar on many world cup players’ dislike for the newest ball, an Adidas spokesman publically commented today that Adidas has taken all the negative feedback into consideration and have created the newest model to symbolize everyone of the players who took the time to critique the ball.

“We at Adidas, believe that the customer is always right, and we wouldnt be where we are today without them.” said the spokesman as he brought out a new prototype ball released by Adidas. “This will be our new ball, there’s more control, less painful on the feet, and it just feels so darn good you’d wanna play without shoes on” he added.

Many players couldnt’ believe what they just heard and thought it was a joke. The Adidas spokesman however never cracked a smile, which makes him look as serious as possible. This was sudden news to alot of the players but they couldnt’ gather their thoughts together and make a formal agreement to be heard due to their inability to understand each other’s languages.

When they get a universal translator to decipher what they all think, we will cover more on this story.

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