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Lebron to make feature length movie about his free-agency decision

July 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

large_lebron_hammerCLEVELAND – Not too long after the announcement that Lebron James will be broadcasting his free agency decision, sources now say he plans to make a feature length movie about his tedious decision process. “Lebron is all about the big screen. This is why he skipped being on the USA team this summer.” commented a source. The movie is prospected to be roughly 3 1/2 hours long and film makers are predicting for this movie to be out by December.

Sources also confirm that James Cameron, the same director of Avatar, will be directing Lebron’s movie about the process. We are also informed that the movie is only strictly about the free agency and not about Lebron’s life. There hasn’t been any word on if there is an autobiography movie in the works for later, but we have a feeling it wouldn’t be a just a movie but a multi-season TV series that could rival with the Simpson’s current 20 year run.

Lebron fans as usual are excited for the news, even though they don’t know what jerseys they will be wearing to their viewing parties just yet, they’re just fairly stoked about a movie featuring their most favorite basketball superstar. “This isn’t even about basketball anymore! Lebron is big time! So what if he hasn’t won a championship yet!” said a loyal lebron fan nearby.

Should any more developments come about this, come here first to hear the news.

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New York Yankees make pitch to land Lebron

July 2, 2010 By Leave a Comment

LeBrons-Yankees-CourtNEW YORK – Just when the free agency period couldn’t get anymore crazier, the New York Yankees announced today that they are going to aggressively pursue bringing in Lebron James to New York. This decision apparently was made because the New York Knicks don’t seem to be exhausting their resources towards their campaign of recruiting Lebron, according to a Yankees spokesman. “We’re a whole lot unsure right now as to whether Lebron would come to New York, unlike 2 seasons ago when we were absolutely sure he’d be a Knick.” he added.

Other major players in the Lebron sweepstakes include Chicago and Miami and they seem to be in the major lead right now as far as swaying king james to join their teams. When asked why a baseball team would go after an NBA player with very little baseball experience, they simply responded that it’s because they’re rich. “Like 2pac says, It ain’t tricking if you got it” replied the Yankees spokesman. We reminded him that 2pac has never said such a thing, but he simply just flashed the HOVA sign at us.

After our meeting, we can say he seemed mysteriously confident in the Yankee chances of acquiring James. “The absence of a salary cap as well as making those Yankees hats he wears mean something should be enough logical reason for James to sign with the Yankees” said a self proclaimed NBA expert Ric Cumla. We really don’t know how he made it into our offices as we didn’t have any intention of getting his 2 cents on this matter. All we can advise however, is to wait like everyone else to see where Lebron goes.

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Jake Delhomme: “I want to take the Browns to the Superbowl”

March 15, 2010 By Leave a Comment

panthers0307.ART_G3G167V8V.1+delhommemug.embedded.prod_affiliate.6CLEVELAND-During a press conference on Sunday, Jake Delhomme was all smiles again as he sat behind the booth waiting for the questions to start. Delhomme, now a Browns’ Quarterback, inked the deal the previous day.

Delhomme, was obviously greatful and giddy over the new deal. We had reported previously that he was worried other teams may realize he sucks after his emotional press conference that was held after his release from the Panthers. It was great to see Delhomme happy again, even for non Panther fans, as this could be seen as a new start.

Most of the questions were directed at the Browns organization, with the concern of Brady Quinn’s future. After, 10 minutes, the conference was over and everyone laid silent as Delhomme still sat at the podium. It was an awkward moment of silence until an anxious Delhomme yelled, “well!! aren’t you going to ask me!?”.

The reporters looked puzzled as to what he was talking about. One of us kindly asked, “ask you what sir?”. Delhomme replied, “ask me about what i expect to accomplish here in Cleveland!”. I felt that was a fair question and was surprised noone asked the typical obvious question like we always do to NFL players during conferences. I then, stepped up to ask away. Delhomme couldn’t even wait to finish before he blurted out, “I WISH TO TAKE THE BROWNS TO THE SUPERBOWL!! GET IT?!? HEHEHE”. Of course we got it, but we weren’t really laughing as it’s obviously an old joke.

Delhomme picked up on the failed joke immediately and finally stopped smiling and explained, “Listen, you think i wanna play for Browns? Seriously, what the hell am i gonna do here? I know i suck! but ever since I was a kid, it’s been my lifelong dream to say that in the press!” Delhomme definitely surprised us with those comments but he wasn’t done yet. “One could say I was disappointed when i got signed to Carolina, I wanted to have this moment, this opportunity to say the joke on national TV! and now I am at peace with myself”. Delhomme then closed his eyes and calmly stared at the ceiling, wearing a smile again.

For the first time ever, an athlete during a press conference had left us speechless. We fear for Cleveland’s immediate future. We would have stayed more to see what developed but we infact had to take the browns to the superbowl.

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Free Agent QB Jake Delhomme worried other teams may realize he sucks

March 8, 2010 By Leave a Comment

PANJAKE0306_14.embedded.prod_affiliate.138CAROLINA- After an emotional press conference, Delhomme left fans wondering what team he would be on next, if there was a team interested. Delhomme stated he parted ways with the panthers with no hard feelings but what he’s worried about is that other teams have smart owners. We asked Delhomme to elaborate on this stance because we had no idea where he was coming from.

“Quite frankly, if you’ve seen the way i’ve played over the past few years, you’d ask yourself why the heck is Jake Delhomme playing pro ball?” said Delhomme. “I look like a freakin rookie out there, It’s only in my 5th year i realized that interceptions are a bad thing.” He also mentioned that he used to think interceptions were cool because the crowds sometimes cheered during them but he didn’t know why they boo’ed other times.

Steve Smith was sympathetic for Delhomme, but couldn’t fight hard enough to keep a grin off his face. “I wonder who our new QB’s gonna be.. I’m sure he’ll be one heckuva signal caller!” said Smith. We asked Smith why he’s so sure and Smith replied “because his name is not Jake Delhomme”.

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