AP officially renames DROY award as Defensive Roider of the Year

nfl_a_bcushts2_288HOUSTON – As the results of the re vote for Texans DB Brian Cushing was announced yesterday, there was no doubt there were still mixed feelings on the issue of him retaining the award. Cushing has been known for his defensive prowess this past season as a rookie, amassing over 100 tackles. Initially, Cushing won the vote in a landslide with Redskins DE Brian Orakpo coming in second. After the re vote, Orakpo had 13 while Cushing had 18.
“It was a lot closer but still didn’t turn out how we expected” commented a source from the Associated Press. Several media pundits were clearly upset at the outcome as well. John Clayton, of ESPN was one of the most notables. It was clear he voted against having Cushing keep the award and was so vehement about the results that he was rumored to inject some HGH substances into his head. He declined being rushed to a medical facility later on however, as he confessed that it gives him an edge over his colleagues on dishing out creative articles.

AP declined to comment on the results but quickly issued a statement that they will re name the award to Defensive Roider of the Year. They said the reasoning behind it was to keep the acronym the same and at the same time stay true to the nature of the award as the voters saw fit.

We will cover this story more if there are any more developments.

Declining rate of positive drug tests proving baseball is boring

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PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla- At spring training facilities in Florida and Arizona, fans are grumbling about the lack ofexcitement in this season’s early games. Since Major League Baseball instituted its newest drug policy in 2006, the game has become uninteresting and more boring. With 50 game, 100 game, and lifetime bans awaiting players who test positive for anabolic steroids or HGH, the rate of positive tests is rapidly declining, and putting most fans to sleep around the fifth inning. Fans are not as excited for baseball games when there is no 6-5 270 lb behemoth launching home runs 500 feet.

“We all want to see the home runs,” said Joel Hinder of Flushing, NY. The long time Mets fan is disappointed in what the game has become. “Strategy?” asked Hinder, “who wants to see teams manufacture themselves one single run with sac flies and bunts when there used to buy guys who would get up and just blast the ball over the wall?”

While players and managers today may like the dedication and hard work it takes to make it to the the show, fans are more interesting in athletes who inject themselves with illegal substances to enhance their performance.

“I miss having the pitcher out there who could bring it over 100 mph on every pitch, and if he broke your bat, he wasn’t afraid to pick up the broken part and chuck it right back at you,” said die-hard Mets fan and Hempstead native Mikey Southwick, describing and act that accused steroid user Roger Clemens once did in a game.

Its much more exciting not only when players are blasting home runs, but the threat of a ‘roid rage is prevalent at any time.

Fans can only hope that MLB will relax on its drug policy in 2010, and allow players to due whatever it takes to turn the sport into the great game it once was.