MINNESOTA – After the game winning shot in the final seconds of the game by Dwyane Wade, not Lebron, there was an expected sense of satisfaction and relief amongst all heat players and fans alike. “We’re now 4-0, the first time anyone can say they’re 4-0 to start a season as a Miami Heat.” said Wade in his postgame conference.
The night was over quick but Lebron apparently still had some unfinished business. Apparently sources say that James had spilled some red wine over his suit that he brought to Minnesota and the stain was quite obvious. Part of the irony behind this situation was that as highly paid as James is, he didn’t have any change laying around to do laundry.
Late in the night, lucky bystanders got the rare opportunity to witness James parade around the hotel. “To be honest, we were wondering why he was walking around so freely in public. I usually expect an entourage around the guy” commented an employee of the hotel. Other colleagues in the hotel, said James shyly approached them asking for some change at the in-house laundromat. “He literally asked me in a low voice if I had a quarter. I said unfortunately no sir! but why would you need a quarter? You’re Lebron!” said George Richmond, another hotel guest staying at the time. Lebron further went on to explain that he needs to get some laundry done quickly and he’s missing a 4th quarter. As soon as James said this, he caught himself and expressed disappointment as nearby listeners couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
James, yet again had to deal with the jokes once more. “Never once would I think even T-Wolves fans could make fun of me.” muttered Lebron as he left the area. Lebron decided that instead of wasting his time looking for extra change, he would simply go to a nearby mall and get a new suit. Unfortunately, when Lebron arrived the jokes just kept on piling on.
Apparently, Lebron went into the store with a wallet 100 dollar bills. 3 of them to be exact. The only suit in the store that was his size was approximately $400. The store clerk then burst out in laughter because Lebron apparently forgot his fourth $100 bill. Lebron then decided to up the ante and pay by credit card. Failure ensued again however, when his card was declined. The clerk kindly called up his credit card customer service rep and was informed that Lebron’s services only carry a 75% spending limit per day and he would go over it by charging it for this sale. The rep and the clerk traded snide laughs afterwards acknowledging that he’s unable to use the remaining 25%, a quarter of his daily spending allowance.
At this point it was clear that James was outraged and decided to head back to the hotel. He couldn’t make it back in good time to catch his flight however because after he made 3 right turns on the trip, he got lost. After eventually finding his way back, he missed the flight by a quarter past take off hour and had to take the next one. He decided he’d at least take a shot at karma by signing autographs to some airport goers. Unfortunately after the 3rd signature he signed, his pen broke.
Lebron James finally caught a plane on standby and flew him back to Miami to catch up with the rest of the team. Finally getting some rest after a long night, he then realized he had left his fourth piece of luggage which contained another suit at his home the entire time.





CLEVELAND – Following the Cleveland Cavaliers disappointing exit from the 2010 NBA playoffs at the hands of the Boston Celtics, local man and huge Cavaliers and LeBron James fan Mike Mestrick, 28, was quick to point out to all his friends, family, and co-workers that he is actually from Boston. Not long after watching the the Cavaliers lose game 6 at a downtown Cleveland sports bar, Mestrick was witnessed taking off his #23 James throwback jersey and tossing it in a city garbage can. Mestrick, like most douche-bag Boston fans, wants everybody to know that he still supports his hometown team.

