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Barkley to attend Heat workouts in hopes of getting a ring

July 29, 2010 By 1 Comment

charles-barkleyMIAMI – During a light practice session, we caught up with NBA great, Sir Charles Barkley, who surprised us as usual. The only difference is this time we were shell shocked at what he had to say as to why he was in Miami. At first, we figured he was here for vacation, working on making his golf swing more pathetic or something but Barkley, outfitted in basketball shorts and an undersized mu mu said he was trying out for Miami.

Barkley, lately has been known for his recent harsh remarks regarding Lebron’s decision to join Miami. “After some random kid on an internet forum message board said I shouldn’t be talking because I have no ring, I sat down for a moment and took the night off and thought to myself that he’s right. I need to win a ring to truly establish my name among NBA’s greatest players ever.”

Many fans of the sport and of the league already feel he is rightfully in that discussion. Many even argue that you can’t name NBA’s 50 greatest players of all time without mentioning Barkley, but apparently that wasn’t enough for him. When asked what he’ll do if he does in fact make the squad and win a ring, Sir Charles responded, “I’ll criticize Lebron for jumping ship and then noone can call me out for talking about him this time.”

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Where have you been?

July 29, 2010 By 1 Comment

Oh you mean me… my bad.. I haven’t gone anywhere.. but in case anyone else had noticed.. the site virtually “poofed” off the internet for quite a bit. Nothing wrong happened, no i didn’t break anything.. well not intentionally, I know what triggered the whole event but lets just say I took my time getting it back up and running. It didn’t take long for me to do so but figured other stuff had to be taken care of first…

The site is back :D .. that’s all that matters now. I hope for it not to happen again.. so i guess as a side effect of all this now.. my stories are old news sort of.. hey they’re still funny.. just pretend you’ve been in a coma for the past 20 days like my site has and you’ll be lol’ing at the stories again. I’m still gonna get this stuff updated anyways with new stories.. funny as usual..

it looks like not much has happened or not alot since lebron joined the NWO..

lol.. that video gets me everytime! plus it’s sweet hearing some Jimi Hendrix while you’re at it ;) . Plus the usual Lebron hate coalition group is having a blast at the remarks they’re making about him and what not.. well it’s like this.. let Lebron be Lebron.. that’s all i got to say about it.. he doesn’t owe anyone a thing.. he never once said he wants to be the greatest basketball player ever and win 12 rings and 9 MVPs or whatever.. even if he did that, he’d still be hated.. so it’s whatever man.. the heat are just another hard team to beat.. don’t treat that team like they’re composed of gods.. they’re still beatable.. you just have to try extra hard lol..

what u tryin to say TO?

what u tryin' to say TO?

In other news, Carson Palmer is gonna have a choice of Terrell Owens or Chad OchoCinco to throw to. I’ve got to make a story about that on the site. Well that offense has no excuse to stink now.. well.. then again.. they have cedric benson.. one of football’s greatest hoaxes of all time.

Other than that.. nothing else big comes to mind.. but of course if it does.. i’ll keep me posted :p

speakin of posts.. where’s yours? look below

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Lebron to make feature length movie about his free-agency decision

July 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

large_lebron_hammerCLEVELAND – Not too long after the announcement that Lebron James will be broadcasting his free agency decision, sources now say he plans to make a feature length movie about his tedious decision process. “Lebron is all about the big screen. This is why he skipped being on the USA team this summer.” commented a source. The movie is prospected to be roughly 3 1/2 hours long and film makers are predicting for this movie to be out by December.

Sources also confirm that James Cameron, the same director of Avatar, will be directing Lebron’s movie about the process. We are also informed that the movie is only strictly about the free agency and not about Lebron’s life. There hasn’t been any word on if there is an autobiography movie in the works for later, but we have a feeling it wouldn’t be a just a movie but a multi-season TV series that could rival with the Simpson’s current 20 year run.

Lebron fans as usual are excited for the news, even though they don’t know what jerseys they will be wearing to their viewing parties just yet, they’re just fairly stoked about a movie featuring their most favorite basketball superstar. “This isn’t even about basketball anymore! Lebron is big time! So what if he hasn’t won a championship yet!” said a loyal lebron fan nearby.

Should any more developments come about this, come here first to hear the news.

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New York Yankees make pitch to land Lebron

July 2, 2010 By Leave a Comment

LeBrons-Yankees-CourtNEW YORK – Just when the free agency period couldn’t get anymore crazier, the New York Yankees announced today that they are going to aggressively pursue bringing in Lebron James to New York. This decision apparently was made because the New York Knicks don’t seem to be exhausting their resources towards their campaign of recruiting Lebron, according to a Yankees spokesman. “We’re a whole lot unsure right now as to whether Lebron would come to New York, unlike 2 seasons ago when we were absolutely sure he’d be a Knick.” he added.

Other major players in the Lebron sweepstakes include Chicago and Miami and they seem to be in the major lead right now as far as swaying king james to join their teams. When asked why a baseball team would go after an NBA player with very little baseball experience, they simply responded that it’s because they’re rich. “Like 2pac says, It ain’t tricking if you got it” replied the Yankees spokesman. We reminded him that 2pac has never said such a thing, but he simply just flashed the HOVA sign at us.

After our meeting, we can say he seemed mysteriously confident in the Yankee chances of acquiring James. “The absence of a salary cap as well as making those Yankees hats he wears mean something should be enough logical reason for James to sign with the Yankees” said a self proclaimed NBA expert Ric Cumla. We really don’t know how he made it into our offices as we didn’t have any intention of getting his 2 cents on this matter. All we can advise however, is to wait like everyone else to see where Lebron goes.

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Sources say other sources’ sources are not as resourceful as the sourceses themselves

June 28, 2010 By Leave a Comment

12198090531909861341man silhouette.svg.medSourceville – According to sources, there has been breaking news of other sources admitting that their sources aren’t as reliable as other sources they compete with. The first source of information came from an unknown source but was reported by another source. The problem however is that even though this source was certain of the source of the story, he didn’t have any back up or resources to prove the source was truthful, therefore the story until proven true is just a rumor.

Other sources couldn’t confirm the story or the source of the story but they claimed to have their own sources of a similar yet different story. Even though no one had the slightest idea of what the story or the source that reported this story, the nature of the story seemed like it was from a highly credible source. All that remains factual in the scheme of things is that there’s a story and there’s a source. The current off season in NFL and NBA are a major source of the commotion of source stories that are flooding media outlets. Despite some of these sources being factual, most of them are made up and just published to get a rise in views from the general public.

To combat the craziness of source rumors across the board, sources say there have been propositions of hiring sorcerers to truly predict what’s really going on behind the scenes. Sources say they feel threatened as the sorcerers will take away the thrill and excitement of not having an idea what’s going on. Other sources that haven’t been mentioned do claim that this whole story isn’t very resourceful at all, but Lebron James is going to be a New York Knick.

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Cavs Owner fined by league offices for having thoughts about Lebron

May 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

lebron_crybaby_big1CLEVELAND – As one of the GM’s walked to his car after a board meeting, he couldn’t help but glance at the outside walls of the Gund Arena. The side of the wall he was looking at was draped in an oversized poster of Lebron spreading his arms. The GM, Gus Johnson, then inhaled deeply and exhaled relieving some stress in the process. As he murmured under his breath about hoping Lebron stayed, secret agents quickly dispersed out of the dark corners of the street.

One of them yelled at Mr. Johnson and ordered him to step away from his vehicle and put his hands on his head. A scared and confused Johnson immediately obeyed every command but inquired about the commotion and felt innocent. One of the secret agents kindly explained that there had been orders from Mr. Stern himself to make sure nobody talks about or even thinks about Lebron James before the Free Agency period begins.

Johnson exclaimed that this was preposterous because he never said anything about Lebron. The agents then explained further that, there have been tracking devices that record conversations and thoughts installed on every GM. So far Cuban, Kerr, that guy from Atlanta, and now you have been caught. Every other GM has been careful about having any thoughts about Lebron.

Johnson still couldn’t’ believe what he was hearing and said he’s going to need a lawyer to counter sue stern for $25,000. We will cover more on this story should there be any more developments.

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Lebron James officially a hypocrite for playing basketball

April 5, 2010 By 1 Comment

lebron_crybaby_big1CLEVELAND- In light of recent events in the media, Lebron James was seen picking up a stray basketball at a local gym and shooting a couple of baskets while fellow hoopers glanced in awe. Coincidentally, several media members just happened to be there along with our cameras. Lebron looked at one of the cameras and smiled saying, “sometimes you can’t help but do what you love to do”, then signed basketballs for everyone at the gym. He then cancelled a later appointment to play a little friendly pickup game, with the local gym members.

Now, Lebron had never done such a selfish ploy ever in his history of the NBA. So far this past week, he’s been stuffing our faces with twists and turns of his career, only to end up low balling everyone associated with the sport in anyway. We fail to understand how he thinks he’s so great that he can pick up any ball in any local gym and shoot it. There wasn’t any indication that it was his turn to shoot the damn ball. Also, who’s to say he didn’t bring the cameras there to save face?

As you may recall, earlier last week, Lebron was known for saying he can win the scoring title if he wants, but he wants to win a championship. That statement just screams selfish all over. Quite frankly, what has he done in his career that makes him think he has a shot at winning the scoring title?

As one can see, Lebron’s gone way over his head. He’s such a selfish blabbermouth. How can he nickname himself the king? and also what’s with him not entering the dunk contest? He clearly believes he is above everyone else and decides what’s best for him rather than what’s best for the nba community. Alot of people are clearly upset that we dont’ get to see his selfish, indulgent excuse of a player participate in a dunk contest. He clearly thinks he’s Jordan because he wants to retire the #23, and he doesn’t want to be in a dunk contest.

Having a player like Lebron has brought nothing but shame to this sport. We share all NBA fans’ feelings at this whole notion, and deeply regret ever having such a player step onto the scene. Here’s to Lebron having a career ending injury. The NBA shall return to its glory days once again.

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Nets Hoping for NIT Bid

March 15, 2010 By 1 Comment

netslogoNEW JERSEY-As the season approaches its end, the New Jersey Nets are on strong pace for having the worst record in the league. As of today, they’ve only amassed 7 wins… and 58 losses. This dismal record can only have 1 good thing about it, and that’s having the #1 draft pick for the following season.However, Nets coach, Kiki Vandeweghe was singing a different tune.

As the NCAA tournament approaches, Kiki couldn’t hide a smile from his face as he said his Nets may get a spot in the NIT tourney. “Our boys play hard every night, there’s no doubt in my mind, but maybe the NBA is a little tough for them right now, so i’m hoping we place in the tourney this year. We may turn some heads our way” said Kiki.

He later on mused about how the Nets have great college players in Devin Harris, Terrence Williams, and Brook Lopez. Kiki acknowledges the NBA championship is definitely out of reach at this point, and he plans to take baby steps to reaching that goal. Getting an NIT bid would really bode well for Kiki and the Nets because that would be a step in the right direction according to the GM.

“I have it all lined up” said Kiki, “The NIT bid, our offseason roster moves, the John Wall draft, the Lebron acquisition, and then chaaaaampionshiiiippp!!” Kiki just requests for us remaining nets fans to keep our fingers crossed as we embark on a potential monumental offseason ahead of us.

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Cleveland gets Antawn Jamison

February 17, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I really thought they’d go for the Stoudemire deal, but I just couldn’t picture a team with Amare and Shaq at the 4 and 5 while having lebron at the 3..

IMO the Jamison deal made more sense and they still get to keep a lineup that includes Lebron Shaq Hickson West and Williams..

Jamison will have to play a lesser role than what he’s used to i bet, but hey, that team’s gonna be dangerous.

Hand the ring over to the cavs now.. i don’t think anyone in the west can beat that team.. but you never know.. playoffs can bring the best and the worst out of players..

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James suffers hand sprain after career high 364 high fives in loss to Nuggets

January 11, 2010 By Leave a Comment

lebron

CLEVELAND- Last years MVP Lebron James will be out for the foreseeable future after recording 364 high fives in Friday nights lose to the Denver Nuggets. The play was drawn up by James himself as he drove to the basket before dishing the ball off to cavaliers shooting guard Delonte West. West hit the three pointer while sustaining a shooting foul on Nuggets forward Kenyon Martin. James proceeded to congratulate West with the usual routine of high fives and butt patting.

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