Lebron James reluctant to ask for an extra quarter at laundromat

MINNESOTA – After the game winning shot in the final seconds of the game by Dwyane Wade, not Lebron, there was an expected sense of satisfaction and relief amongst all heat players and fans alike. “We’re now 4-0, the first time anyone can say they’re 4-0 to start a season as a Miami Heat.” said Wade in his postgame conference.

The night was over quick but Lebron apparently still had some unfinished business. Apparently sources say that James had spilled some red wine over his suit that he brought to Minnesota and the stain was quite obvious. Part of the irony behind this situation was that as highly paid as James is, he didn’t have any change laying around to do laundry.

Late in the night, lucky bystanders got the rare opportunity to witness James parade around the hotel. “To be honest, we were wondering why he was walking around so freely in public. I usually expect an entourage around the guy” commented an employee of the hotel. Other colleagues in the hotel, said James shyly approached them asking for some change at the in-house laundromat. “He literally asked me in a low voice if I had a quarter. I said unfortunately no sir! but why would you need a quarter? You’re Lebron!” said George Richmond, another hotel guest staying at the time. Lebron further went on to explain that he needs to get some laundry done quickly and he’s missing a 4th quarter. As soon as James said this, he caught himself and expressed disappointment as nearby listeners couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

James, yet again had to deal with the jokes once more. “Never once would I think even T-Wolves fans could make fun of me.” muttered Lebron as he left the area. Lebron decided that instead of wasting his time looking for extra change, he would simply go to a nearby mall and get a new suit. Unfortunately, when Lebron arrived the jokes just kept on piling on.

Apparently, Lebron went into the store with a wallet 100 dollar bills. 3 of them to be exact. The only suit in the store that was his size was approximately $400. The store clerk then burst out in laughter because Lebron apparently forgot his fourth $100 bill. Lebron then decided to up the ante and pay by credit card. Failure ensued again however, when his card was declined. The clerk kindly called up his credit card customer service rep and was informed that Lebron’s services only carry a 75% spending limit per day and he would go over it by charging it for this sale. The rep and the clerk traded snide laughs afterwards acknowledging that he’s unable to use the remaining 25%, a quarter of his daily spending allowance.

At this point it was clear that James was outraged and decided to head back to the hotel. He couldn’t make it back in good time to catch his flight however because after he made 3 right turns on the trip, he got lost. After eventually finding his way back, he missed the flight by a quarter past take off hour and had to take the next one. He decided he’d at least take a shot at karma by signing autographs to some airport goers. Unfortunately after the 3rd signature he signed, his pen broke.

Lebron James finally caught a plane on standby and flew him back to Miami to catch up with the rest of the team. Finally getting some rest after a long night, he then realized he had left his fourth piece of luggage which contained another suit at his home the entire time.

Barkley to attend Heat workouts in hopes of getting a ring

charles-barkleyMIAMI – During a light practice session, we caught up with NBA great, Sir Charles Barkley, who surprised us as usual. The only difference is this time we were shell shocked at what he had to say as to why he was in Miami. At first, we figured he was here for vacation, working on making his golf swing more pathetic or something but Barkley, outfitted in basketball shorts and an undersized mu mu said he was trying out for Miami.

Barkley, lately has been known for his recent harsh remarks regarding Lebron’s decision to join Miami. “After some random kid on an internet forum message board said I shouldn’t be talking because I have no ring, I sat down for a moment and took the night off and thought to myself that he’s right. I need to win a ring to truly establish my name among NBA’s greatest players ever.”

Many fans of the sport and of the league already feel he is rightfully in that discussion. Many even argue that you can’t name NBA’s 50 greatest players of all time without mentioning Barkley, but apparently that wasn’t enough for him. When asked what he’ll do if he does in fact make the squad and win a ring, Sir Charles responded, “I’ll criticize Lebron for jumping ship and then noone can call me out for talking about him this time.”

Where have you been?

Oh you mean me… my bad.. I haven’t gone anywhere.. but in case anyone else had noticed.. the site virtually “poofed” off the internet for quite a bit. Nothing wrong happened, no i didn’t break anything.. well not intentionally, I know what triggered the whole event but lets just say I took my time getting it back up and running. It didn’t take long for me to do so but figured other stuff had to be taken care of first…

The site is back :D .. that’s all that matters now. I hope for it not to happen again.. so i guess as a side effect of all this now.. my stories are old news sort of.. hey they’re still funny.. just pretend you’ve been in a coma for the past 20 days like my site has and you’ll be lol’ing at the stories again. I’m still gonna get this stuff updated anyways with new stories.. funny as usual..

it looks like not much has happened or not alot since lebron joined the NWO..

lol.. that video gets me everytime! plus it’s sweet hearing some Jimi Hendrix while you’re at it ;) . Plus the usual Lebron hate coalition group is having a blast at the remarks they’re making about him and what not.. well it’s like this.. let Lebron be Lebron.. that’s all i got to say about it.. he doesn’t owe anyone a thing.. he never once said he wants to be the greatest basketball player ever and win 12 rings and 9 MVPs or whatever.. even if he did that, he’d still be hated.. so it’s whatever man.. the heat are just another hard team to beat.. don’t treat that team like they’re composed of gods.. they’re still beatable.. you just have to try extra hard lol..

what u tryin to say TO?

what u tryin' to say TO?

In other news, Carson Palmer is gonna have a choice of Terrell Owens or Chad OchoCinco to throw to. I’ve got to make a story about that on the site. Well that offense has no excuse to stink now.. well.. then again.. they have cedric benson.. one of football’s greatest hoaxes of all time.

Other than that.. nothing else big comes to mind.. but of course if it does.. i’ll keep me posted :p

speakin of posts.. where’s yours? look below

Dwyane Wade breaks Heat all-time assist record; Pat Riley still doesn’t give a shit

waderiley

OKLAHOMA CITY-Saturday night was a record breaking night for Dwayne Wade and Miami. No, not for consecutive games with a crappy squad around D-wade but actually for career assist totals by a Miami Heat player.
This record is significant because the previous record holder was highly notable point guard, Tim Hardaway. Wade’s pass to Jermaine O’Neal for a dunk was the record breaking assist. The real story at hand though is Riley’s reaction to the whole event.

“Look we suck.. ok? we’re 20 – 19 in the eastern conference? why should i give a damn about assists?” commented Riley after the game.

We are are aware there was an ongoing feud between him and wade during the offseason and first half of the ’09-’10. Riley then added, “When that hardaway wanna-be starts scoring more points, passing less and quits spreading those stupid ‘im going to Chicago’ rumors, maybe we can finally win more games!”

Riley questioned Wade’s conditioning and efficiency on the court. In the offseason, Riley also failed to please Wade during the offseason when he asked for more help talent-wise from the free agency pool that included Iverson and Odom. Riley’s response to those demands was that he had Wade sign a long term contract first. Maybe there’s still some lockerroom heat going on between the players..

Hey look I just said “Heat”.. like Miami HEAT.. get it.. lulz.. that was sooo by accident..