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Inspired by Isaac Bruce’s trade, Marc Bulger wants to retire as a ram too

June 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment
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Bulger during one of his signature moves

ST. LOUIS – After Isaac Bruce’s retirement on Wednesday, June 9th, Marc Bulger expressed gratitude for playing with Bruce. “He’s one of the best players I’ve ever played with in my NFL career, and I believe he’s accomplished enough to be a Hall of Famer” said Bulger during the ceremony.

Marc also expressed that he too would like to join the St. Louis Rams like Bruce did so he can retire as a Ram. Bulger added “I know i played for other teams but it’s here in St. Louis where I established my legacy as an NFL player.” Marc Bulger as a Rams QB amassed a career passer rating of 84.4, and 1,960 completions with 3,171 attempts. He also had a notable 22 interceptions during his 3rd season with the Rams.

Bulger would be most memorable for the interceptions, as several defensive backs mentioned that if it wasn’t for Bulger, they wouldn’t be getting as many accolades as they had been getting. One DB even said, he was grateful for playing the Rams two times a season because his interception totals skyrocketed so much after playing against Bulger that he became a perennial pro-bowler. Some defensive linemen say they thank Bulger for being so indecisive as well, and getting their sack totals up. “Our practice squad QB doesn’t even give us freedom to own him” said an anonymous defensive back.

Bulger was humbled by the outstanding number of compliments he recieved from defenses and fantasy football players as well who had defenses and players that matched up against rams. He added, “I’m glad to be remembered for my impact on the game, I may have disappointed some fans and critics but I know i’ve made more fans of the game happy.”

We’ll keep you posted on whether the Rams will pick up Bulger.

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Michael Finley joins Boston Celtics so he can be a starter

March 8, 2010 By Leave a Comment

finleyBOSTON- A relieved Michael Finley walked into the press conference room today and was all smiles as he had now become a Boston Celtic. “This is my dream come true, I’ve always wanted to be a celtic ever since I was a kid.” Some of us were a bit surprised because being the basketball buffs we are, we recalled Finley idolizing Jordan as a kid and thought he would actually play for the Bulls if given a chance. Finley, on the other hand clearly had another agenda.

He commented on the rich history of the celtics and said the only reason he left san antonio was because of lack of playing time. “I hope to play a more significant role on this team, possibly even start along side this great cast of players.”

The current starting celtics squad consists of Rondo, Pierce, Allen, Garnett and Perkins, with Nate Robinson off the bench. There are also notable players like Marquis Daniels and Rasheed Wallace that do not start.
We asked Finley if he’d demand a trade again for not starting nor getting playing time, and he replied that we’d have to wait and see. He also said he does not like losing and that’s why he left Dallas and that the real reason he left San Antonio was because they were starting to show signs of that Dallas tradition.

We wish Finley the best of long in his long illustrious career of championships ahead of him.

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Favre draws in record laughter response when discussing NFL future.

January 25, 2010 By Leave a Comment

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After the loss in New Orleans, all eyes were on Favre as the postgame press conference began. Everyone glued to the TV set anticipated his comments about retiring or giving the game another year. However, as soon as Favre started talking, noone in the crowd could hold it in any longer.

Wondering what the commotion was about, Favre still kept a straight face and commented that he would need some time to think about his choices ahead. However, words from the NFL legend could hardly be heard as the crowd of news reporters and editors broke out in hysterical laughter again. It was like we all got attacked by laughing gas. The camera man even pee’d his pants and couldn’t hold on the camera straight. Even the microphones themselves bursted out laughing infront of Brett’s face. That was quite eerie, but ESPN reporter, Suzy Kolber was rolling on the floor laughing at the jock.. Yes she was ROFLJOCK’ing.. We thought it was cute. Joe Namath however, felt that was his chance to finally get that kiss from her, and then some.

Of course, none of this was caught live because it had been edited out. Many of the audience did apologize to the NFL and to Brett Favre, but it still felt like the damage had been done. “I’m sorry.. we thought he was kidding.. i mean.. we were going along with it but the way he kept that straight face thru out made it even the more funnier!” said a fellow reporter. “We just bought a house here in Minnesota, because we know we’re gonna be here all summer while Favre blasts more jokes! I love it..” said another reporter who still remained skeptical after the whole event.

We wholeheartedly understand Favre being upset, as it was chaos over there in the booth where this was being held.
Whatever decision he takes, hopefully it will be the right one.

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Brett Favre offers Kurt Warner Retirement Advice

January 18, 2010 By Leave a Comment

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Vikings Brett Favre was moved as he watched what could possibly be the last game of QB counterpart, Kurt Warner. After a crushing defeat by the powerful Saints’ offense, the media was left asking questions about Warner’s future.

As expected, Warner wasn’t quick to give an answer but rather said he’ll need some time away during the offseason to think about it. Warner did get a phone call though from someone he wasn’t expecting would call regarding the issue. That was Brett Favre. We were able to secure a copy of the transcript of the call (don’t ask how) and it went a little something like this:

Kurt: Hello?

Brett: Kurt?

Kurt: Who’s this?

Brett: I’m the juggernaut bitch! Nah just kidding! I’m Brett Favre

Kurt: Oh hey man.. whats up

Brett: My Temper.. but listen.. this call’s about you man.. I saw your game against the saints..

Kurt: I know.. :( hey.. stuff happens

Brett: I’m with you dude.. and I just wanna give you some advice.. you know.. old guy to old guy..

Kurt: but you’re 40..

Brett: Listen up.. I know you’re thinking heavily about retirement and i just want to let you know.. take all the time you can because it’s a real important decision

Kurt: yeah man i hear you.. thanks man..

Brett: No you dont’ understand.. take all the freaking time you can.. like say you’ll think about it.. even until like the month of september..

Kurt: haha.. you serious?

Brett: dude.. you’re a beast.. you’ll be respected no matter what.. what are they gonna do? fire you!?

Kurt: well..

Brett: listen up.. you’ve been getting your jock ridden lately.. it’s time you reap your benefits man.. be a dick to your coach if you have to.. but if you truly want to play.. go back and play! even if it’s with the jets!

Kurt: you can’t be serious.. i don’t think i can do that man.. i don’t know

Brett: think about it. call me back. i gotta get the door. that sissy brad childress sent me flowers again. peace out brah!

Kurt: bye…

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