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ROFLJOCK rocks cocks harder than Jean-Claude Van Damme wrestling a kangaroo on methamphetamines!!!

December 24, 2010 By Leave a Comment

And if that makes perfect sense to you, then you’re a straight up baller in my book!! Mad props to Vlad, head blogger of slamdumb.com for giving me a shout-out on his Christmas Eve blog. ROFLJOCK got mad hits within a 3 hour span after he posted that article, and it was 3 am in the morning i believe when that happened. So that gave me 2 thoughts, 1. I have no life and look at my stats at 3 am in the morning and 2. I better get cracking and write more stories because ROFLJOCK’s viewers are about to increase dramatically.

On a serious note however, these sites are powered by a 1 or 2 individuals at best, who have very little time to brainstorm ideas, update the sites, and read hatemail and everything in between but I can attest for Vlad, Dmitry and ourselves that we are all very passionate about what we do but sometimes real life gets in the way, so please please please, when you get on any site and you don’t see an expected update or new article. We’re just as bummed as you are about not dishing one out within a reasonable amount of time.

But back to ROFLJOCKing!! it’s Christmas Eve.. I know.. but c’mon guys.. what’s with the videos? This is like a contest to see which sports team can create the most ridiculous video out there these holidays.

Wow.. on a side note, The mavs actually planned to sing this all season but guess what.. they choked..

Wow.. and this was a perfect opportunity to get rid of that Denver THUGgets image too

The moment i shared tears was at the very beginning of the video when i realized it was 8 mins long..

on a side note.. the end of the video features bloopers and outtakes… as if the entire thing wasn’t a blooper anyway

“..and an extra tooth to fill my gap teeeeeeth” :D

But i’m no scrooge.. I still have a favorite video out of all the christmas vids and that’s by the houston rockets..

and so what if they cheated? you gotta admit that is badass..

So yes that’s my holiday themed article.. talk about these with family and friends while drunken over with eggnog! tell em about rofljock also.. leave comments.. and do what ever else its y’all do.. just stay safe doing it.. MERRY CHRISTMAS :D AND HAPPY NEW YEAR’S IN ADVANCE!!

-Love,

Seb

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sebastien reporting..

June 1, 2010 By Leave a Comment

yes.. what was it? 2 weeks of not updating the site.. i bet our readers must’ve been wondering if the site finally died. nah.. far from it.. i was actually humbled by people randomly asking me out of nowhere if i’m still doing the site.. i mean .. i know i told them about it but i really didn’t think they paid much attention to notice that it hadn’t been updated in a while.

So yeah it has been 2 weeks since our last update. What had happened with me was being busy / occupied with other stuff as well as being depressed. Yeah it sounds funny now but it was something I hadn’t experienced to its degree before. I had shut out nearly everyone and didn’t work on any of my sites because of added pressure of everything.

I am fine now tho.. it’s not something i want to go thru again and i’ll spare the details of everything that came into play.

However I thank our fans for continuing to read our material and I ask for everyone of you to please spread the word. What really keeps this site going is the fans.. nothing more.. and I always want for it to be that way.

Oh and other news, due to the scheme of the way the site’s going, I’m going to start updating articles everyday. That means you can come at any day and there may be a new article waiting for you.. this means you don’t have to wait a whole week to read a new article and we don’t have to wait a whole week to publish one.

Feel free to leave a comment.. let me get to know our fans a little more.

Peace out

-seb

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Sports Analyst John Hollinger’s articles to be converted onto ESPN comedy section

March 22, 2010 By 1 Comment
hollinger

ESPN's John Hollinger

BRISTOL- An unexpected source of breaking news took place this morning as ESPN’s John Hollinger has been deemed unworthy of producing quality material compared to his colleagues.

It all occurred after a memo was sent out internally amongst employees of the Disney owned sports media outlet indicating that Hollinger has been moved to spearhead their upcoming section of ESPN comedy. “This is a new move that will make us even more unrivaled with our competitors in the media” was a statement included in the memo.

As a long story short, ESPN plans to launch a comedy section on their main site and hopefully a 30 minute TV show on sports comedy to fit in with the daily 23 hours of SportsCenter. The president of the company felt John Hollinger was the perfect candidate to spearhead the new sports comedy section because his articles are “so full of fail and laughter.”

The memo also included that, this is in no means a demotion for Hollinger, but that his contribution to the company has had the entire staff plagued with tears of laughter. “I just lost it, when he came up with that per system that showed Andrew Bynum was a better player than Kobe Bryant” said ESPN co-writer J.A. Adande. Marc Stein also claimed he gushed with laughter when Hollinger came up with yet another points system that proved Steve Nash is the best shooter in the NBA over players like Ray Allen and Dirk Nowitzki.

Some coworkers have been rumored to be relieved he is leaving their department. One co-analyst, who claimed to remain anonymous, said that their integrity can be restored with honorable and insightful writing and people can go to that ESPN comedy section now for a good laugh. Some others have even said the launch of this new section might rival sites like rofljock.com.

The Memo also included that this should raise the revenue for the Insider feature ESPN always shoves down the public’s throats. The same anonymous co-analyst also commented saying, “I feel embarrassed when I’m out with my friends and they talk about some article they saw by Hollinger that’s been cut off because they’re not Insider subscribers. They say it’s like, he does articles called ‘Hollingers top 50 bald basketball players’ and has a points system he invents for that.. it’s like who the hell cares?! I don’t wanna pay for that!’.. I feel embarrassed because I know they’re right.

Hollinger could not be reached for comment.

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We’re still alive

March 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment

i’m sure to our millions of millions of fans out there.. most of you all must’ve been having sleepless nights wondering when next i’m going to blog. well worry no more. i am still alive and even more the lazy. so lazy i’m not even bothering with proper punctuation nor uppercase letters to start my sentences. who cares? i just hope my english teachers aren’t reading this.

anyway some of you may have noticed our site appeared to have been hacked last week. “appeared”.. don’t worry.. nothing was hacked.. it just looked bad on the google chrome browsers.. it was an iframe tag that was put on our index page that tries to route you to another site… well technically you can say it was a hack since I wasn’t the one that did it O.o.. regardless.. no more worries it’s gone.. you can all come out now..

not much is going on in the world of sports.. yes i know that sounds dumb but it’s kinda like a bit of a downtime for the sports i follow.. regardless, athletes will never stop being rofljocked.. i’ve been working on my other sites for the time being, i’m still sort of new to the web design “business” thing.. not web design.. just the “business” of it.. i’ve been making web pages for a while but not for money.. incase you know anyone that wants a website and is willing to break bank (JK).. tell them u know sebastien.. they’ll get a discount ;)

anyway.. i’ll start bloggin more often.. i promise.. and i’m working on something special on the site.. its’ not coming anytime soon but i’ll give you updates.. noone knows about it but me so don’t even bother playing investigator..
keep an eye out this monday for more rofljock news.. updated every mondays.. tell your friends.. spread the word!! we’ll give you beer

-seb

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