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Drew Brees to sit out season incase of Madden Curse

April 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment

2350.11 madden drew brees
NEW ORLEANS – After being named the newest Madden cover boy, Drew Brees was excited for the news but he made an interesting announcement shortly after the celebration started. After acknowledging the priviledge of being named, he then announced that he is going to sit out the entire 2010-2011 NFL season to avoid risk of injury. A lot of fans and critics alike failed to understand the reasoning behind the decision until video game nerds explained what we like to call “The Madden Curse”.

The video game series, Madden NFL has spanned for over 10 years but after the corporate decision to put actual players on the video game cover instead of John Madden, there has usually been a decline in performance for that player, especially due to an injury. The madden curse has invaded players like Daunte Culpepper, marshall Faulk, and Michael Vick just to name a few.

A spokesman for the Saints’ front office declined to detail on what they plan to do to get Brees to play. He was kind enough to mention that they’ve considered taking Brees off the cover of that ‘dumb arcade game’ and wished 2ksports football games were still around because the players on their covers had successful seasons.

Backup QB, Chase Daniel, is excited about this as he should see more playing time. Should any more updates occur, you’ll hear it first on rofljock.com.

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NASA to send Saints’ CB Porter to intercept meteor

February 15, 2010 By Leave a Comment

CAPE CANAVERAL- His interceptions of future Hall of Fame quarterbacks Brett Favre and Petyon Manning did more than just lock up NFC Championship and Super Bowl wins for the New Orleans Saints, NASA has taken notice of Tracy Porter as well. NASA has chosen the Saints’ cornerback to stop a meteor heading towards Earth. Experts at NASA have predicted that the meteor could strike Earth within the next two weeks, so after exhausting all other options, they have asked Porter to handle the task.

“The way he was able to stop Manning and Favre when it looked like for sure their teams were gonna score is unprecedented,” NASA spokesperson James Gould said. “You just don’t ever see someone pull that off. We know Tracy is the right man for the job.”

In both games this season, it looked for sure that the Vikings and Colts were going in for go-ahead or game-tying scores, when the little known cornerback came up with game changing interceptions that sealed the fate of the Super Bowl XLIV Champion Saints. With the fate of the world resting in his hands, Porter is excited for the opportunity and ready for the challenge.

“Meteors have the same characteristics as Favre and Manning: they are both known as unstoppable forces,” said the Super Bowl XLIV champion. “Stopping Favre and Manning in their tracks was huge. I am an immovable object, ready to stop this rock in its tracks.” Porter is confident in his ability after his performance in his last two games.

The people of Earth can only hope that Porter is able to repeat his performance for the third time in a row, and stop the meteor from destroying the world.

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After Super Bowl loss, Cooper now Archie’s favorite son

February 8, 2010 By Leave a Comment

MIAMI- Shortly after the New Orleans Saints’ victory 31-17 victory over the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLIV, former NFL quarterback and father of current NFL quarterbacks Peyton and Eli Manning, Archie Manning announced that his eldest son Cooper is now his favorite.

“After the embarrassing season Eli had, and the Super Bowl losing performance Peyton just had, I just want everybody to know that Cooper is now the son that I am most proud of” said Archie.

Cooper’s greatest accomplishment is a guest spot on a Simpsons episode. He currently is a partner in a New Orleans energy investment firm.

Despite Eli and Peyton’s past Super Bowl championships, Archie is a ‘what have you done for me lately?’ dad, and said he has no time for losing sons. “Cooper’s investment is the best thing this family has going right now” said the former Saints quarterback. “I do not want to be associated with either of my other two loser sons, until they do something significant.” Archie, whose greatest accomplishment is being the father of two NFL quarterbacks, is not happy with either one of their 2009/10 performances.

Cooper Manning is ecstatic about the announcement, finally gaining his father’s respect after 36 years.

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Super Prediction

February 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Its the Friday before the Super Bowl and as the resident NFL addict, I feel obligated to make a prediction on the game.

First let’s cover the gambling aspect:

Indianapolis is 4.5 pt favorites right now, so If I was going to be on the game, I’d take New Orleans getting the 4.5 pts. The Colts have the fire power to blow anybody out that they want, however most of their games this season ended by them winning by no more than a touchdown. With the weapons the Saints have on offense, look for them to always be in the game and at least keeping it close.

The over/under is 56.5 pts. This seems like a no-brainer. With potent offenses and suspect defenses on both teams, the safe bet is definitely the over. It wouldn’t surprise me though if the defense stepped up in this game. Robert Mathis can put pressure on Drew Brees to force him into a bad decision, and Darren Sharper is one of the best ball hawks in the game and may be able to snatch an errant Peyton Manning pass out of the air. But if I had to, I’d go with the over.

As for the game itself:

Colts 31, Saints 28.

I hope I’m wrong since I’ll be rooting for the Saints, but the Colts were almost perfect for a reason this season. They appear to be doing everything right, and I believe they’ll have just enough to edge out a close victory on Sunday.

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