New York Yankees make pitch to land Lebron

LeBrons-Yankees-CourtNEW YORK – Just when the free agency period couldn’t get anymore crazier, the New York Yankees announced today that they are going to aggressively pursue bringing in Lebron James to New York. This decision apparently was made because the New York Knicks don’t seem to be exhausting their resources towards their campaign of recruiting Lebron, according to a Yankees spokesman. “We’re a whole lot unsure right now as to whether Lebron would come to New York, unlike 2 seasons ago when we were absolutely sure he’d be a Knick.” he added.

Other major players in the Lebron sweepstakes include Chicago and Miami and they seem to be in the major lead right now as far as swaying king james to join their teams. When asked why a baseball team would go after an NBA player with very little baseball experience, they simply responded that it’s because they’re rich. “Like 2pac says, It ain’t tricking if you got it” replied the Yankees spokesman. We reminded him that 2pac has never said such a thing, but he simply just flashed the HOVA sign at us.

After our meeting, we can say he seemed mysteriously confident in the Yankee chances of acquiring James. “The absence of a salary cap as well as making those Yankees hats he wears mean something should be enough logical reason for James to sign with the Yankees” said a self proclaimed NBA expert Ric Cumla. We really don’t know how he made it into our offices as we didn’t have any intention of getting his 2 cents on this matter. All we can advise however, is to wait like everyone else to see where Lebron goes.

After opening day loss, Yankees to consider rebuilding

yankeesBOSTON – It couldn’t get anyworse for Yankees fans at Fenway park after the Yankees took 9-7 loss. They saw their favorite team crumble right before their very eyes.
After a successful previous season, many had the Yankees repeating their run again as they still have a healthy and fearsome squad lined up this season. However, after last night, some Yankees fans and staff, felt it was over for them.
“We have the best team in the league! and we still lost!” said an unidentified screamer from the seats. Yankee Pitcher, C.C Sabathia couldn’t take the heat of pitching against the red sox and was clearly exhausted halfway into the game. Yankee fans were bothered by the sight of it all and wished their star pitcher would lose weight. “We have the fattest pitcher out there right now. It was like seeing Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis out there. What probably would’ve kept him going was a platter of pork brisket being served to him after every pitch” said another fan.
We thought it was too early in the season to throw such criticism as teams ought to still be trying to find their bearings, however not New York. According to them, their other teams suck right now so Yankees are all they’ve got left. Some have been rumored to push George Steinbrenner to signing Lebron to be a Yankee instead of a Knick. An indication of how bad they feel about the New York Knicks for example, being successful, even with Lebron.

Twins accidentally sign Mauer to eight-year, $184 million extension

Minnesota's newest millionaire

Minnesota's newest millionaire

FORT MEYERS, Fla – The Minnesota Twins have signed all-star catcher and 2009 American League MVP Joe Mauer to an extension worth $184 million over the next eight years. Joe Mauer jumped all over the opportunity to sign the contract as he was elated to be able to stay with his home town team for the long term. The Twins however, were not so pleased when they discovered the amount they were going to have to pay him. Minnesota, who have never been big spenders, looked on in shock when they saw the contract read $184 million, instead of the $18.4 million that they had intended.

“I’m so happy that I’ll be able to stay home and play for the team that I grew up rooting for,” said the newest multimillionaire catcher. “I thought for sure when I saw the numbers on the contract that I was signing up to play for the Yankees.”

The New York Yankees typically are willing to shell out that kind of money for any of the top players in the game to come join their squad. Mauer could not believe what he was seeing when he saw that it was actually the Twins offering him the contract.

Twins management, while glad to have Mauer and his skills around for the next eight years, did not mean to pay him that much money.

Owner Jim Pohlad bellowed, “We meant $18.4 million! Somebody put the decimal in wrong place! We are the Twins, not the Yankees! We do not spend that kind of money!”

Joe Mauer becomes the third highest paid player in baseball. Only Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter, both Yankees, have signed deals worth more than Mauer’s $184 million.

MLB to Skip 2010 Season, Award World Series to Yankees

yankees

With no other teams in the league that can remain financially or physically competitive with the New York Yankees, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig has announced that the 2010 season would just be a waste of time, and has awarded the World Series championship to the Yankees, making it back to back titles for them, and 28th overall, the most by any team by far.

After dismantling the Philadelphia Phillies in the 2009 World Series, Bud Selig announced about the 2010 season that, “its just not worth it to play the season anymore. We already know that the Yankees are going to win, its just a matter of time. Why even bother with playing an entire season.”

Not even Red Sox fans or players were disappointed by this announcement. Boston manager Terry Francona said was happy that he wouldn’t “have to take another ass whoopin’ from the Yankees for an entire season.”

No mention yet of the leagues intentions for the 2011 season.